Page 186 of Steps

A half-smile appears on his face. He brushes asidemy curls. “Toya, this is your time. Enjoy it. Experience how it feels to be onyour own; do things you want to do without worrying about someone else’shappiness.”

I can’t help but frown. “It’s going to be solonely without you.”

He squeezes me in his arms. “Yes, but you’ll stillmake friends. You’ll go bowling and dancing. You’ll laugh. You’ll be just finebecause you’re going to try.”

Drawing a deep breath, I tell him, “I will try.But if it sucks, I’m running right back to the safety of these very toned andsexy arms.”

Varen chortles and kisses the top of my head.“That won’t happen because I know you, Toya. You’ll stick it out. It’s what youwant. When you make up your mind about something, nothing and no one will standin your way.”

I look at him. “I learned that after falling foryou.”

He strokes my cheek. “And you’ll carry it for therest of your life.”

Pressing a quick kiss to his mouth, I rest my headback on his chest and shut my eyes, drifting off to the rhythm of his heart.

The following day, I wake up with a headache and atwinge in my chest. In a few hours, I’ll be on a plane heading to California,far from Varen.

Turning onto my side, I watch in awe as he sleeps.This guy who I fell in love with so fast. This bad boy who lowered his defensesfor me and allowed himself to feel.

It’s the last day in a while I’ll get to share abed and apartment with Varen. I save the peaceful look on his face and hopeit’ll bring some speck of ease when I’m unable to fall asleep at nights.

Varen moans and turns his head. His blue eyesflutter open. As they stare at me, that infectious smile coils his lips.Shifting closer, he kisses me lightly and pulls me into his arms.

“Morning, beautiful,” he whispers.

A tear trickles down my face onto his chest.“Don’t think I can do this, Varen. I don’t want to be far from you.”

He heaves a deep sigh and holds me tighter. “Yeahyou can, you big baby.”

I manage a chortle. “What are we going to do?”

“Well,youcan start by getting your buttout of bed and into the shower.” He chuckles after.

Sniffling, I hiss and smack his thigh. “I’mserious. I feel so scared of leaving.”

He shakes his head. “Toya, you’ll be living outyour dream, that joy will comfort the pain of missing me.”

“And what about you?” I ask, touching his face.“What will ease your pain?”

He snorts. “The panties you’re leaving behind.”

“Ugh.” I slap his arm. He responds by tickling mysides. Laughter bursts out of me at last.

Varen flattens me on my back. My giggles lessen ashe climbs over me. “I love you,” he mutters so sweetly, kissing me once on thelips. “I’m going to love you forever.” He kisses my cheeks and temples.

Something breaks inside me. I press my eyes shutas the tears leak out at the sides of my face.

“Shh,” he hushes me, gently kissing my lids.“Don’t cry, Toya. It’s going to be okay. We’ll talk all the time and see eachother around the holidays, and I promise I’ll visit.”

I nod without opening my eyes.

Varen plants another kiss to my lips, this time hestays longer. I caress his back as he deepens it, going hard against me in notime.

No more tears fall as we make love, clinging toone another as if it’s our last time. We cuddle a bit after we’ve both unraveledfrom the rush of ecstasy, and when it’s two hours to the time of my flight,Varen carries me out of bed, and we shower together.

I remain composed for the rest of the time as Idress in jeans, t-shirt, and flats, and pack away the last few items in my carry-on.

Varen brings my suitcases downstairs afterreceiving a text from Daniel that they’ll meet us at the airport.

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