Page 146 of Steps

When Varen calms, he straightens from me andstands, roughly wiping his face with his hand. He turns to me, sniffles, thenreaches his other hand to help me to my feet.

He doesn’t let go. “Thank you.” His voice soundshoarse after all that crying. “For this last message from my mom, and for beinghere.”

I lift my hand to graze his face.

Varen eases it away. “You should get back. They’llknow you’re with me.”

Giving in to my heart, I turn my head slowly andtell him, “No, you need me right now. I’ll stay with you.”

“Toya, you can’t do this to me. You can’t be withme sometimes. If you stay tonight, we can’t go back to being broken uptomorrow. You’ll only hurt us more.” He lets out a shaky breath. “You know whatyou want, so say it.”

Staring into his intense eyes, I seriously considermy feelings. The past weeks have been gut-wrenching without him. As sad as I amabout my mom’s loss, I’m tired of being in pain, of forcing myself to livewithout my love. I’m done with fighting what’s real.

“I’m staying with you,” I tell him again,stronger. “I’m in love with you, Varen. I want you more than anything in thiswhole world.”

His eyes glisten under the streetlight. Lipsgradually curl upward. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

Dropping my head back, I stand on my tiptoes andkiss him fervently, making up for the painful weeks we were apart.

A sleeping fire ignites, and soft moans ofpleasure seep out of us as our tongues sensually collide. Varen tightens hisgrip on my body while caressing my face with the other hand, and everything dwindlesas we stand there, kissing for what feels like hours. This is where we belong.Together.

When we slowly ease apart, he beams down at me anddrapes his arm around my waist.

“Let’s go,” he whispers.

We walk to my mom’s car. My mind is set, and I’mnot turning back now.

I drive home and park outside the garage, thensneak into the house. It’s past eleven. I notice lights flickering in theliving room as I set the keys on the table in the entrance and peek in from thearchway.

Daniel and Mom are fast asleep on the sofa. Assoundlessly as possible, I go downstairs to quickly pack a duffle bag, placingmy writing books and diary into my backpack. Heart still racing, I meander backupstairs and sneak by the living room again.

They haven’t moved an inch. Taking one last glancebehind, I breathe deeply and prepare myself for what’s sure to follow thisdecision. This is what I want, and I need to remain strong if I’m going tofight for my love. No more wavering.

Quietly going out the front door, I lock it behindme and hurry to the end of the driveway where Varen is eagerly waiting. I kisshim when I get in the car and toss my bags in the backseat.

He arches a brow. “Still want to do this, babe?”

“Yes. Let’s go home,” I tell him excitedly,looking forward to being with Varen from here on.

Euphoria blankets his face as he speeds off intothe night.

35

Hands touch, claw, and trail over skin hungrily aslust burns like wildfire flowing between our entwined bodies. In Varen, I’mdrowning in a love I never knew really existed. I cling to him for dear life,knowing there’s no chance in hell I’ll ever let him go again.

We make love before going to sleep then wake upand do it again.

“I can get used to this,” Varen says in a raspyvoice.

“Oh yeah?” I ease from on top of him and settle athis side.

He kisses me again for the umpteenth time andstares at me with adulation until his eyes suddenly wilt and he glances away.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, easing up on my elbow.

“Nothing.” He rolls over and gets out of bed. Ibite my lip while gawking at his naked frame as if it were the first time untilhe hauls on sweatpants and puts an end to the show. “Hungry?”

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