Page 129 of Steps

I start to walk away. She speaks at my back.“That’s a lovely bracelet. I’ve never seen you with it before.”

My body tenses. “Oh.” I look at my wrist. This isjust a speck of Varen’s affection. The majority I still feel inside my vaginaand taste in my mouth. “Yeah. A classmate sells them. Bought it today.”

“Looks a bit pricey. Thought you wanted to saveyour money for college?”

Twisting to her, I say dryly, “I can still treatmyself sometimes, Mom.” I snort. “Besides, it was cheap.”

Not at all. The bracelet is worth more than amillion. Priceless, actually. It’s a sweet gift from my first love.

“Well, it’s pretty, like you.” She smiles at me.“Get some sleep then.”

“You too,” I mutter.

She rubs her bump again. “I’m waiting for Dan.”

I nod and continue downstairs to my room.Surprising that Mom doesn’t smell sex on me. I can. It causes me to feelnaughty in a wild way.

After showering, I turn off the light and crawlinto bed. Then play with my sea glass bracelet while waiting for Varen to textme.

31

Sadly, plans to sneak off with Varen on Sunday area bust. Thanks to Daniel taking us to brunch at a country club. With Alisonhome for the long weekend, he seems more adamant about doing stuff together.

A part of me wants to ask him about Varen. Itisn’t fair that they don’t include him, and I can tell that it bothers Vareneven though he doesn’t talk about it.

On Labor Day, after putting on a summer dress andflats, I style my curls, apply BB cream and lip-gloss, then text Varen to seeif he’s coming to his dad’s get-together.

I’ve made extra effort with my appearance even ifwe need to keep our distance. But when I see his reply, sadness blooms in me.

Maybenot.

Sickof pretending.

I want to convince him to come but realize itwould be better if someone else did.

Daniel’s in the backyard setting up the grill.He’s wearing a white shirt and khaki shorts. I close the sliding doors behindme for privacy and saunter up the steps to talk to him.

“Hey, Toya.” He beams at me. “Well, you looklovely.”

“Thank you.”

Daniel refocuses on the grill, wiping it downthoroughly. “I feel like I haven’t used this thing in forever.”

“Um, can we talk?” I ask.

He steers his eyes back to me and puts down thetowel. “Sure. What’s up?”

I wring my hands together, trying to remain nonchalantand unsuspecting. “It’s about Varen.”

His smile falters a bit, seemingly nervous aboutwhat I’m going to say. “Yeah?”

“I was thinking, maybe you could let him moveback? I feel so guilty that he left because of me, and he’s been missing out onfamily stuff. It just doesn’t seem fair that I’m here and he’s not.”

Daniel scratches his head as he deliberates.“Well, who’s to say things won’t stir up between you again once he’s backhome?”

I offer an innocent look. “It won’t. I’ll keep mydistance from him. I’m sure he’ll do the same.”

He considers this. “I’ll talk about it more withyour mother and Varen. See where he stands. Last time we spoke, he was stilladamant about not giving you up.”

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