Page 120 of Steps

Varen comes out of the jam-packed living room andsmacks his friend’s shoulder, reminding him with a glare.

Finn raises his hand in peace. “Yeah, yeah. I gotit the last hundred times. Trust me.” He scoffs at us and returns to hisprevious spot in the living room, taking a blunt from a gorgeous vixen afterkissing her.

Turning to me, Varen pulls me into his arms. “Hey,baby.”

“Hey.”

Giggles seep out of me as he showers my face andneck with kisses. “I miss you.”

“Hmm. Me too.”

“Come on.” Taking my hand, Varen leads me throughthe living room. Guests laugh and dance with no cares in the world.

Stopping to grab a beer in the kitchen, Varenplaces his hand at the arch of my back and guides me outside to the deck,faintly brightened by wire lights.

Varen opens the can, drinks some before offeringme the rest. “So how did you manage to get away?”

“I told a partial truth. That I’m coming to aparty to make friends.”

I drop my eyes after as guilt rises again.

He rubs my arm. “All right?”

“Um, it’s just... I hate sneaking around. But Ialso can’t be without you.”

Varen sets the can on the wooden railing andencloses me in his warm embrace. “What if you don’t need to sneak aroundanymore?”

I pinch my brows and peer up at him. “What do youmean?”

“Move in with me until you start college nextyear.”

“Varen... my mom would never let me do that.”

He shakes his head. “All you have to do is leave,Toya. You were going to that day. I have a place now.”

“I know, but...” Backing out of his arms, I rufflemy curls with frustration. “I don’t want to damage my relationship with my momany further. She’ll never speak to me—your dad will never speak to me again—ifI move in with you.”

He clenches his jaw. “Oh, I see. So it’s fine ifthey shun only me?” His tone hurts.

“That’s not—no, of course not.”

Varen rakes his fingers through his hair. “Iwalked away from them for you, Toya. Why does it feel like you no longer wantto take that leap for me?”

I splay my hands. “Why do we have to? Why can’t wehave our family and each other?”

“Because we can’t!” he snaps, raising his voice atme for the first time since the night I tossed his pills into the water.

Calming down, Varen reaches for my hand. “I’msorry. I wish it could be like that, but we have to choose.” He grazes my cheek.“It’s always going to be you, Toya. I love my dad and Ali, but I chooseyou.”He presses his forehead against mine, saying on a whisper, “Don’t you want tobe with me?”

“You know I do, Varen.” I grasp his arms as a teardribbles down my face. “I love you so much. But I don’t want us to decidebetween our love and our family. There has to be another way.”

Varen wipes my cheek with his thumb. “The only wayis to sneak around. Can you honestly keep doing that? It’s exhausting.”

A long sigh surges from my lips. “I just don’tknow.”

He’s about to say something, but Finn pushes theglass door open, interrupting us. He looks close to being shit-faced. “Thereyou two are. V, come bail me out, man. I’m about to lose a lot of money in thisgame.”

“Great,” Varen hisses, rubbing his forehead. Tome, he says, “I’m going to play some pool.”

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