Page 10 of Steps

I walk behind him upstairs to the main level. Westroll into the kitchen, and he calls out options from the fridge, but nothinginterests me. We check out the pantry next. I decide on frosted flakes whileVaren grabs a bag of Doritos.

We sit on the stools at the island. “You barelyhave two months left of high school. Which college are you going to in thefall?”

He shifts and looks at me as he speaks. “Whatmakes you think I’m going to college? It’s a waste of time.”

“Not necessarily.”

He shrugs. “Well, for me, it is.”

“So, what are you going to do instead?”

“Don’t know. I haven’t figured out my life the wayyou have.”

I drop my eyes to the bowl of cereal. “My lifeisn’t figured out. Trust me.”

“Which colleges are you going to apply to?” heasks. “You never mentioned that last night.”

A smile tugs at my lips. He was paying attention.I glance at him as I answer confidently, “UCLA.”

Varen squints at me. A knowing expression slowlycontorts his features. “Far from Maryland. Is someone trying to get away fromher mommy?”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes and resume eating.

He pokes my side, making me jump. “Have youwritten anything decent?” he asks, seeming genuinely interested.

I relax my body and answer, “Here and there. Iwrite more in my journal and diary.”

That book has a lot of my emotions. I’ve writtenabout my disappointment in my mom over the years, and the few times herboyfriends would get too close.

My body stiffens as I realize something. “Shit!”

“What?”

I jump up fast. “Mydiary. She probablyfound it while going through my room.”

“Saw it in a jewelry box. Don’t think she realizedit was there though,” he utters with nonchalance. “I didn’t go to school today,so I was here when she moved in your stuff. Hid it for you. If I hadn’t, shewould have definitely found it.”

My heart thrashes with a new panic. “Where’s mydiary?Youdidn’t read anything, did you?”

He snorts. “Of course not. I don’t have time forsilly girl stuff.”

“Varen, where’s my diary?” I ask in a calmer tone.

A sneaky smile stretches his lips. “What are youwilling to do to get it back?”

My eyes blare. I hug myself. “Excuse me?”

He throws up a hand. “Kidding. Just promise youwon’t tell my dad about Finn’s place, or the pills he gave me.”

I twist my mouth. “You probably don’t have it,anyway.”

“Really? Hm.” He wrinkles his forehead in thought.“So it’s not the book with the purple floral cover and silver clip holding apen at the front?”

Crap. “Fine. I won’t tell your dadanything.”

Varen stands and brings my bowl and the rest ofthe Doritos to the counter.

“Well, where is it?” I ask, growing impatient.

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