Page 86 of Steps

After Kenya checks on her mom, we hang out in herroom, painting our nails.

She sits Indian style on her bed, blowing on herred nail-polish to help it dry faster.

“So, how’s it going with Varen? Still can’tbelieve you’ve been sexing your stepbrother right under your mom’s nose withoutthem finding out.”

My eyes widen. I fly up on the bed. “Geez, Ken.Keep it down.”

She giggles. “How’s the sex, by the way? You nevertalk to me about that stuff.”

I chew at my bottom lip. “It’s... mind-blowing.Varen has way more experience, so initially, I let him lead me. But now thatI’ve gotten comfortable, I can take more control.”

“Hm.” She squints at me. “Has he said it yet?”

I wobble my head and peer down at her stripedsheets. “Not yet. Guys are like that though, right? Besides, we’ve only beentogether a month and a few weeks.”

“True.” She stretches out her legs beside me andleans against the headboard. “Haveyoutold him you love him?”

“No. I don’t want to scare him away.” I lie flaton my back. “Maybe I will while we’re in Scotland.”

Kenya sighs. “You know, T, if he didn’t love you,he wouldn’t want to tell your parents. He’d probably keep sleeping with you insecret until he gets bored.”

“Yeah.” I ease up and sit beside her. “I need himto say it though. Something tells me it takes a lot for Varen to utter the wordlove.”

She bumps my arm playfully. “Give him time. Yousaid he has issues he’s dealing with.”

“That part.” I pause, remembering how Varenunraveled in the car by the runway. I feel so moved that he allowed himself tobe vulnerable. I’ll cherish it forever. “Honestly, Ken, as much as I want totell them, I’m afraid of what will happen. What if being together means losingour family? What if they decide they want nothing to do with us?”

A frown contorts her features. “I’m sorry, girl,but you know they won’t support this.”

“Still… I don’t think I can give him up, Kenya. Idon’t.” My chest aches from the possibility of that ever happening.

She gives my hand a sympathetic squeeze. “Hope itworks out where you can have both him and that family you want.”

Sighing, I rest my head on her shoulder. “Me too.”

Before noon on Saturday, Daniel and Mom head outto view houses. Varen’s in the gym, adding to a body that already drives mecrazy, and Alison is in her room going through her closet. She invites me tohang out while she sorts clothes for her coming internship.

It’s my first time in her large room. I sit on thecomfy bench at the foot of her bed and peer around in admiration.

Her space is neat and elegant, with light graywalls, frames with powerful quotes from influential people, and matching whitefurniture. She has sheer white curtains letting in a lot of sunlight.

Alison’s room is the opposite of Varen’s. His isdarker and more mysterious.

“Looks like they plan on buying a house soon,” shesays, placing a few blouses inside a box on the carpet.

“Guess so. Maybe they want a fresh start aftermarrying.”

She straightens and turns back to her closet.“It’ll be good for them, especially my dad. This house is full of memories withmy mom. It’s time to let go. We all need to.”

Something occurs to me. I mutter, “No wonder Varenhas a hard time here. He still feels her presence strongly.”

Alison glances at me. “You know, I tried to tellDad, but he believed staying would help V.”

I shake my head. “I think it made him worse overthe years.”

Sighing, she ambles to the bed and sits at theside. “I’ve noticed he seems lighter these days. Happier. He’s even home morethan he used to be, especially around this time of the year.”

“Oh.” I pick at my nails. “Maybe those griefmeetings are working.”

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