Page 62 of Steps

Looking him straight in the eyes, I tell him, “Ireally like you, Varen, and it won’t go away. I don’t think I can let you go.”

He caresses my face and whispers, “You don’t haveto let me go. You can keep me for as long as you want.” He encloses me in hisarms again and kisses me.

“You should probably go before they suspectsomething,” I say, backing away.

Varen nods. “We’ll talk later.” He walks out of myroom then.

I saunter into the bathroom, finish taking off myunderwear, and get in the shower. What the hell am I going to do? My boyfriendis really going to be my stepbrother.

Alison joins us for dinner at some fancy Italianrestaurant on Friday night. I’m wearing the blue knee-length dress Mom boughtme last week.

Varen looks smooth in his formal shirt and pants.More handsome than ever. I can’t stop my eyes from staring, even though we’recelebrating our parents’ upcoming wedding.

“A toast,” Alison says, raising her wineglass. “Tothe lovely couple. I cannot wait for your big day.”

I can.Sorry.

We all clink glasses and drink. Varen and I areserved a fruity beverage while our parents and Alison have champagne. She’s noteven twenty-one yet.

Ugh. Why am I even mad at Alison? She’s thesweetest.

“When are you going wedding dress shopping, Lisa?”she asks. “Do you know if you’re wearing white?”

My mom chuckles. “Definitely white. Myappointment’s in two weeks. You’re invited, honey.”

“And Toya,” Daniel reminds, chuckling at my mom.

“But of course. She’s my baby girl. She’s beenwith me through all the heartache.” Mom reaches across the table and squeezesmy hand.

“Hm.” Guilt crashes over me. All I’ve ever wantedis for her to finally be happy. But after meeting Varen, a part of me wishesthings won’t work out with Mom and Daniel. I’m definitely cruel for that.

Varen touches my knee under the table, comfortingme. No one notices.

“Dad, I’m going to participate in the graduationceremony,” he informs the table.

“You are?” Daniel confirms, appearing pleased.“What changed your mind?”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking—”

“Finally,” Alison jokes and brushes his arm.

Varen glares at her. “Anyway, I’ve been lookinginto different institutes and community colleges. I want to take classes thissummer, maybe online.”

I almost throw my arms around him, feelinggenuinely happy for him. Then I remember where we are and quickly composemyself.

Daniel nods and wipes his mouth with a napkin.“I’m glad you’re thinking about your future at last. Actually, I spoke to EricPaisley recently. You remember him? He says he has an opening atHome Depot.It’d be a good job for you; full-time with benefits. You can start this Julywhen we get back from Scotland. And I’ll call in a favor at UMD, get you in anevening program.”

Varen scoffs and moves his hand from my knee.“Seriously? Why are you always making plans without discussing it with mefirst?”

“Because I’m trying to help you, son. I’m yourfather, it’s my job. This will be a fresh start for you.”

Varen huffs and flays his hand. “That’s great. Butat least talk to me first. It’s the same way you shipped me off to some crappyrehab in Montana with no warning.”

Oh no.

Daniel winces and points a firm finger at him.“You should be damn grateful I still do so much for you, after everythingyou’ve put this family through.”

I feel an urge to step in, but I know it’s not myplace. Mom and Alison sit quietly, staring at their drinks.

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