Page 55 of Steps

Laughter sputters from him. “Why do you ask methese things?”

“Because I want to know you. Will you let me in,Varen Kirby, even just a little?”

He smiles, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowsdeeply. “I guess, to just be happy, Toya. Isn’t that what everyone wants?”

I nod. “True. Hope you’ll get to a place where youfind true happiness.”

He leans in to kiss me again, then continues togaze at me in admiration.

Curious, I keep going. “Tell me about your mom.What’s your favorite memory of her?” It’s risky to ask about his dead mother.But I feel it’s crucial for him to talk about her more and face the hurt livinginside.

Varen lowers his eyes from me. A few seconds passbefore he speaks. “She used to play scavenger hunts every weekend.” A smileteases his lips. “She’d hide clues all over the house.” He twists and points tothe library. “Especially in there. Those were the hardest to find, but I alwaysfound them.” His smile fizzles. “She was setting up one when she collapsed. Herlast clue is probably still sitting in a book inside there.”

I reach for his hand, kissing the back of it. “Weshould try and find it.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t, Toya.”

My stomach sinks, feeling guilty for pushing him.“I understand. I’m sorry for—”

“Don’t be.” He tows me closer to his body. “Thankyou. Bit by bit, it’s getting easier to talk about her with someone.” He looksover my face. “It started that day at the river.”

Suddenly bold, I straddle his lap and kiss himsoftly. Varen squeezes my body. He groans as he moves his hands to my hips.

The sound of the front door startles us. I quicklyget off Varen and flick on the TV, resuming a series on Netflix that I starteda while back. I pick up the rest of my sandwich and nibble at it.

Daniel and my mom’s voices fill the entrance. Theystop on the stairs and peer down at us.

“Oh, hey, you two,” Daniel chirps. “Toya youalready saw your friend?”

“Yeah,” I reply, heart racing. “It was a shortvisit.”

He looks at Varen. “Son. Good to see you home.”

“Hm,” Varen mumbles and drinks his soda.

Mom steps down and squints at me. She glances atVaren for a moment then sets her eyes back on me. “Toya, come help me withdinner later.”

“Okay.”

They both continue up the stairs to the top floor.I release the panicked breath I’ve been holding.

“Shit, that was close,” I whisper.

Varen touches my hand. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Jesus. Maybe we shouldn’t havestarted this.”

“Don’t say that,” he mutters, and rubs my fingers withhis thumb. “We’ll be more careful.”

I move my hand and get up, carrying the plates andmy empty cup with me.

I’m sure to avoid any glances in Varen’s directionfor the rest of the evening; afraid Mom will detect something since she lookedat us in a strange way earlier.

After dinner, Varen and our parents go upstairs totheir rooms. I shower and change into my nightshirt then sprawl out in bed toreturn Kenya’s call.

“Hey, girl. What’s up?”

She squeals into the phone. “Guess who asked me ona date?”

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