Page 45 of Steps

Blinking away from him, I rest my head back on thepillow. “Are you on drugs again?”

“No.” He sits at the foot of the bed. “Sorry Iscared you last night.”

I straighten. “Varen, I know we don’t know eachother well, but I am worried about you. Maybe you should reach out to someonefor help.”

He hangs his head. “I’ve tried. No one can helpme.”

“You don’t need to—” I pause after glimpsing a redmark on his neck. It looks like a hickey. My stomach twists. “But drugs and sexwill?”

Varen meets my gaze with his forehead creased.

I motion to his neck. “There’s a love mark on you.Guess that answers where you went this morning.”

He scowls. “You’re jealous.”

“I’m not,” I answer fast, trying to sounduncaring. “It’s none of my business. Anyway, I’m taking a nap, so get out.”Annoyed, I lie down and shut my eyes.

A deep breath surges from him. “You can’t like me.I’ll hurt you.”

“I don’t like you,” I sputter, upset about thehickey.

“Liar,” he discerns. “Toya, it wouldn’t workbetween us even if our parents hadn’t met.”

My eyes fly open. His words sting. I straightenand look at him. “Why is that?”

“You’re too good; too innocent. I drink, do drugs,and fuck a different girl every other month. You deserve better.”

The last part smacks me hard. Why does the thoughtof him being with other girls upset me? It’s what he’s been doing before wemet.

“Jerk,” I murmur. My voice comes out low as Ispeak again. “Guess I’m a fool.”

“Why?” His eyes droop.

My breath hitches, but I can’t keep it in anymore.“Though I try not to, I like you more by the day.”

“Toya…” Varen combs over his hair and heaves aharsh breath. “Don’t look at me like that. Fuck.”

I pick at the sheets. “Why’d you kiss me lastnight? Why did you touch me? Why did you… sleep next to me?”

He swallows hard. His gaze turns intense. “Icouldn’t help any of it. Toya, you’ve been in my head since the night we met.”

His words draw an eye roll out of me. “You told meyou’d get over it with other girls.”

“I can’t,” he admits, longing in his voice.“Because I don’t want other girls.” I quiver as he touches my feet. “What did Itell you about rolling your eyes at me?”

“You never did tell me what you’ll do,” I whisper,bringing my legs up.

He licks his lip and growls. “I want anotherkiss.”

“Don’t Varen. We shouldn’t.”But truthfully,I’ve never wanted anything more. “Our parents… Just leave me alone.”

“I can’t, Toya. I want you too much.” Desireamplifies in his gaze. “So much that I selfishly want all your firsts.” Varenshifts on the bed. Leaning over, he trails his hands up my legs, going under myskirt. “I know the logical thing is to stay away, but it’s so fucking hard.”

Gripping my legs, he gently pulls me down on myback. I breathe deeply, shivering from the scorching heat of his touch.

“It’s hard for me, too,” I say on a moan, tired offighting it.

Varen kicks the door shut. I gasp at the lustemitting from his body. It’s both frightening and sexy.

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