Page 34 of Steps

“Then leave.” He rolls over, giving me his back.“And turn off the fucking light before you go.”

“Ugh.” I suck my teeth. “Jerk.” I flick off thelight and storm out of his room.

“Toya?” Daniel says as I shut the door, startlingme.

I pivot fast and whisper nervously, “Oh, hey.”

He steps out of his bedroom. “Everything allright?”

“Um, Varen just came in, and he didn’t seem okay.Thought I’d check on him.”

“Jesus.” Clearly exasperated, Daniel lifts a handto his forehead and massages it. “I’ll talk to him in the morning. Toya, I knowyou want to be a friend, still, please don’t get caught up in this. I can tellyou have a big heart, but that’s how Varen is. You have no idea how many timesI’ve tried to reach him.”

I wring my fingers before me. “Maybe he thinkseveryone’s given up on him.”

He doesn’t respond, only sighs.

“Well,” I motion to leave, “goodnight.”

“Night, Toya.”

Daniel steps back into his bedroom as I descendthe stairs. Entering mine shortly after, I change out of my sweatpants and tee,then lock the door before crawling into bed. I’m afraid someone other thanVaren will notice I’m having a dirty dream about him and hear me calling outhis name.

To be honest, knowing that he caught me touchingmyself while saying his name turns me on.

I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and slip myhand inside my panties. I haven’t done this before, too turned off from sex bymy mom’s sleazy ex-boyfriends. But thinking about Varen while fondling myselfmakes it very enjoyable. Yet, I don’t experience the euphoric feeling because Iscold myself for having these naughty thoughts about my soon-to-be stepbrother.

Settling down, I roll onto my side and try to goto sleep. My phone vibrates on the nightstand, blue light brightening the area.When I reach for it, I see a text from Varen.

Sorry.

Ugh! Why is he doing this to me? Why does he makeme mad one minute and leaves me smiling the next? Why can’t I stop thinkingabout him? What’s this feeling growing inside?

While ignoring his text, another comes in, makingme warm all over.

CanI come to your room and talk?

My mind’s telling me no. To pretend I haven’t seenhis text because if I keep entertaining this, things will only get worse. Butmy fingers disobey and send him something else.

Fiveminutes.

I crawl out of bed, stroll into the bathroom towash the horny scent from my hand, and slip back into sweatpants and tee. Noway I’ll let him see me in my underwear ever again. That time at the river wasa mistake.

Turning on the light, I unlock the door, open ithalfway, and peek out. I glimpse Varen coming down the passage. He still seemsa tad wobbly.

He stops before me, eyes squinting as he asks in ahushed tone, “Can I come in?”

“Why, exactly?” I whisper back.

A deep sigh surges from his lips. “I hate beingalone in this house. Something about you makes it a little easier.”

My throat tightens.

“Please, Toya,” he mutters, sounding sad. It tugsat my heart. “I won’t do anything.”

I open the door wider and back away for him toenter my room. Varen closes it, flicks off the light, and lies down on my bed.

“Um, why’d you turn off the light?” My voice comesout nervous.

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