I shudder and grip my clothes tighter. “How whatfeels?”
He chortles. “Kissing.” My heart leaps when heraises his hand to my face and caresses my jawline. A part of me wants to stayrooted in place and wait for those soft-looking lips to brush mine. The morerational part says to run.
“No.” I move away from him. “I’m not that kind ofgirl, Varen. I don’t want casual hookups or meaningless kisses.”
“Whatdoyou want?” he asks, seeminginterested as he starts to lower his hand down my neck.
“Varen…” I warn and brush his hand away.
His brows go up. “I like that answer.”
“What? No!” My eyes go wide. “I don’t wantyou;I want something real, and I can tell you’re the type of guy who searches fordistractions. Well, I’m not going to be that for you. So you need to find otherways to cope—healthierways.” I haul on my blouse, getting it damp.“Whatever sexual fantasy you have about me is definitely not going to happen.Regardless, we’ll be stepsiblings soon.”
He just stands there not saying a word, watchingme with intrigue. I finish putting on my jeans.
“Take me home,” I say sternly, and motion to hisclothes on the grass. “Hurry up.”
Varen drops his eyes from me at last and put onhis uniform pants and shirt. I walk to his car, get in, and wait.
A minute or two later, he steps out from the pathand hops in around the wheel. He delays starting the car though.
Twisting in the seat, Varen eyes me with anintensity that causes a knot in my stomach. A weird spark courses through myveins when his lips curl into that maddening smile. He mutters knowingly, “Allthose things you said, and yet you seem so nervous around me.”
My body shivers. “I’m not.” It sounds weak andunconvincing.
Varen smirks and starts the car. “You’re not avery good liar. At least, not to me.”
5
To put an end to the subtle crush I’m clearlydeveloping for Varen, I focus on keeping distance and not speaking much on ourdrive in the mornings and afternoons.
Following dinner Thursday night, I hang out in myroom reading before bed. I’m in the middle of an exciting scene when loudarguing reverberates from the main level. Daniel’s yelling at Varen, who’s beenabsent since dropping me off this afternoon.
I bookmark the page and step out of my room,curious about the commotion.
Mom’s standing on the stairs, peering downhelplessly at Daniel and Varen in the entryway.
“Look, you said you want me home, I’m home,” Varengrunts, throwing up a hand. He’s discernibly agitated. Eyes drowsy as if onsomething.
Daniel yells, “What I want is for you to stophanging with that damn kid! You weren’t like this before you met him.”
“Here we go. Tell me how much potential I had andhow disappointed you are in me.”
“Christ. Maybe you should go back to rehab,”Daniel suggests. “I’m not going to stand by and watch you go down this pathagain.”
Varen glimpses me in the lower level, and a lookof shame crosses his features.
Blinking away, he barks, “Screw this!” Thenmarches out the front door and slams it shut.
I hurry up the steps. “He shouldn’t drive likethat.” Before Daniel or Mom says anything, I’m running after Varen like a fool.
Freshly cut grass pricks the bottom of my barefeet as I race across the lawn to his car on the driveway. I open the passengerdoor and get in just as he starts the engine.
Baffled, Varen wrinkles his forehead while glaringat me. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m going with you. You don’t seem to be in agood state.”
He wipes his face harshly. “Look, I’m not in themood for another therapy session. I really just want to be alone right now.”