Page 21 of Steps

Varen turns and jumps into the river. Letting goof my nervousness, I swallow hard and get into the water, relishing thecoolness on this warm spring day. We float and peer up at the clear blue sky.

“What’s your passion?” I find myself asking him.“There must be something you enjoy a lot.”

Varen considers a moment before he speaks. “Ilike…”

“What?” I press, excited to learn about him.

“Sex,” he blurts, then chortles after. “Lots ofit.”

I splash him with water. “Big surprise. Seriously.”

“All right, geez. I like building things. I usedto make stuff out of scrap wood I’d find. Birdhouses, toy cars, stupid stuff.”Nowonder his hand is rough.

“That isn’t stupid. You don’t do it anymore?”

He resettles in the water. “Not since my momdied.”

I straighten as well.

Varen swims in circles, eyes intense and neverleaving mine.

“What was she like?” I ask, fighting to staychill.

“God, you don’t give up, huh, Dr. Phil?”

“Sorry.” I look down at the water.

Silence cloaks us for a few seconds, and I wonderif he’ll ever open up.

Relief washes over me when he mutters at last,“Kind. Funny. Full of life. It’s fucking unfair that someone like her got sickand died.”

Varen turns and swims back to the spot where ourclothes are, getting out, escaping the conversation. I realize it’s what hedoes. He stays guarded and looks for a way out instead of facing his issues.

I follow him out of the water.

“I’m sorry.” I touch his arm, offering comfort. “Ishouldn’t have said anything.”

Varen glances at my hand, then my face. Waterdrips from his soaking wet hair in this sexy way that makes my stomach flutter.I observe a stream as it continues down his body. His boxers are drenched,clinging to him. I clear my throat and look away to avoid staring at his bulge.

“Can I kiss you?” he mutters.

“What?” I yelp, dropping my hand instantly. “Ofcourse not!”

“Come on, Toya, there’s nothing wrong with makingout. No one has to know.”

Becoming anxious, I stagger back and stare at thewater. The thought crosses my mind. Perhaps a part of me badly wants him to.

No. We can’t ever do that. His dad is marrying mymom.

“You’ve never kissed anyone, have you?” hedeciphers. “Damn.”

I snatch up my clothes. “We should get home.”

He huffs. “Why? It’s more fun here.”

“Geez.” I make to step past him.

Varen blocks my way to the path. “Do you want toknow how it feels?”

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