Page 109 of Steps

Daniel scoffs. “Don’t you presume to tell me Idon’t know my son. I’ve had him for eighteen years. You’ve been carrying oninappropriately for two months.”

“It’s only inappropriate to you because you don’tunderstand nor do you want to,” I quip. “I’m not another fleeting happy high.Varen loves me, and I love him.”

Exasperated with my rebelliousness, Daniel hissesthen signals over the server. “Sorry if this hurts you, but after a week of notseeing you, I’m sure Varen will move on to someone or something else. He getsbored easily.”

His words more than hurt, they anger me. Istraighten and toss the napkin on my plate. Then storm out of the restaurant.

25

I’m surprised when August stops by on Saturday.But good thing Mom and Daniel are okay with him seeing me because I have a planthat’ll require his help.

“How’s it going?” he asks after I invite himdownstairs to the family room.

“So-so.” I gesture for him to sit on the sofa.“You?”

“All right. Been worried about you since thewedding, seeing that Alison found out.”

“Yeah.” I shrug. “They’ve been working overtime tokeep us apart. My mom took my phone. I’m pretty much on lockdown. They don’teven trust me to visit my best friend.”

Realization shines in his hazel eyes. “Oh, that’swhy you weren’t replying to my texts and why my calls weren’t going through.”

I look across to the stairs to see if anyone isclose by. Turning to him again, I ask, “August, could you do something for me,please?”

He constricts his eyes to slits. “What?”

“Varen’s working at theHome DepotinHampden. Would you mind telling him that my mom has my phone, and that’s why Ihaven’t called?”

Clearly displeased, his face falls. “Seriously,Latoya? I came to see how you’re doing because I like you, and I want to get toknow you. Yet, you just can’t let go of this unusual thing with yourstepbrother, no matter the problem it’s causing your family.”

I pick at my nails. “August, I’m sorry, we canonly be friends, and I feel guilty asking you to do this but... I just need toknow how he’s doing.”

He blinks away and rubs his forehead. “Wow. I amsuch a fool, but all right. I’ll do it. Damn, Latoya, why…” He pauses. “Why doyou love him so much? What is it about Varen?”

A smile tugs at my lips. “Everything. He can betough, intense, persistent when he wants something, and I love that about him.He’s funny, kind, and honest with himself when it comes to his feelings for me.There’s just so much about him that pulls me in, and I love how it burns andcalms me all at once.”

August frowns, at the same time, his shouldersdroop. “Guess I can’t compete with that.”

I take a deep breath and say again, “I loveVaren.”

“Got it.” He stands from the sofa. There’snoticeable discontent in his demeanor. “I’ll pass on your message.” Then hemakes for the stairs and treads to the front door, leaving soon after.

Hope pushes to the edge of dwindling as the next weekflies by without another visit from August. I have no idea if he relayed mymessage or changed his mind.

While sitting on the lounge chair in the family room,writing to the sound of rain, Mom comes downstairs and sits on the large sofa.

She stays quiet for a beat, watching me. We’vebarely made eye contact, much less exchanged any words since she seized myphone.

“I’m sorry I struck you,” she says at last, moresincere than ever.

I close the journal and move my legs from under mybutt, setting my feet on the carpet.

Mom keeps going. “I’m sorry I said those awfulthings back then, and I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive when you told me aboutRavi. You needed your mother, and I was so blinded by my own selfishness that Ifailed you.”

I lower my eyes from her sad ones. “Thank you forthat. It’s in the past, though.”

“Stop saying that,” she mutters. “You’re stillcarrying the hurt. Perhaps it’s why you got so close to Varen.” Hearing her sayhis name makes me lift my head. “You needed attention; to feel wanted. He gaveyou that.”

“No,” I refute in a near whisper, shaking my headslowly. “It’s so much more, and I don’t need a man to make me feel like Imatter.”

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