Page 70 of Risks

“So your mom and Varen’s old mancool with you living together?” he inquires as we approach his car on thedriveway.

“We did what we had to do to betogether.”

“They were against your relationship?”

“At first.” I pause at the passengerdoor and face him. “They thought it’d affect the family, but Varen and I loveeach other. We want this. They backed off when they saw how serious we were.Mom is still a bit uneasy, though. I don’t care.” I drop my gaze to the ground aftersaying that.

Jesiah touches my arm gently as ifstill careful about scaring me away.

I look up at him.

“I know it’s far in the game, andyou probably don’t think there’s much I can offer you now.” He pauses a beat. “Ijust hope we’ll get to where you trust that I’ll be there for you.”

His words melt my heart and turn myeyes glossy. “You’re wrong, Jesiah. There’s so much you can give me. Having youin my life means a lot. I needed you then.” My voice breaks as horriblememories sprint through my mind. I shake them off, adding, “I need you now.”

He nods. “I’m here, Toya. I’m here.”

Everything calms as he embraces me.

Dads are just as important as moms.I believe that even more now while sheltered in the loving arms of my father.

32

I spend the next two days learningabout Jesiah.

He has such a warm presence. He’sthoughtful, funny, and kind. So far, he’s conveying everything I used toimagine my father would be.

I’m still bubbling over withexcitement after returning to the apartment from another day out with him.

Varen looks up from his laptop whenI walk through the door.

“Hey, babe.”

“Hey,” he replies in an even tone.“Had fun?”

“Mmhm. Things are going great withJesiah. I wish we had this while I was growing up.” I mosey to the dresser andtake out a long t-shirt to slip into after I shower.

Varen approaches while I’m peelingoff my clothes. “Are you seeing him again tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we’re checking out this coolgallery and then bowling. Why?”

He sticks his hands into his jeanspockets. “I feel like we barely had any time together. You’re leaving in threedays.”

“I know. But you understand, right?I only met Jesiah recently.”

“I do understand. It’s just…” He combshis fingers through his hair. His dark strands have grown a bit. “You haven’tseen my dad or Kenya since you’ve been home. And Lisa…you’re still ignoring hercalls.”

I stop what I’m doing. “That’s toughfor me, Varen. I told you I’d try.”

He frowns. “I’m not saying youshouldn’t spend time with Jesiah. Just don’t push the rest of us away.”

“It’s not like that. I need this.I’ve always needed it.”

Understanding shines in hisenigmatic blue gaze. He closes the space between us and trails his hand up myarm until he’s touching my neck, igniting the fire under my skin. “I changedthe tickets to two weeks in August. You’ll have the months before with Jesiahand your grandparents. Then I want you to myself in Scotland.”

I know what he means.

Being away at college and now withJesiah, there’s stress on our relationship. Taking a trip together will allowus a moment to only focus on each other and catch our breaths.

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