Page 3 of Risks

Every time we talk on the phone, theimmense longing in her voice and lonely earth-tone eyes strike me like a severeblow.

The distance is wreaking havoc on myheart. It’s so fucking painful, like the loss I suffered after my mom passed.

Perhaps it’s because Toya is myfirst real love. Either way, I can’t fully comprehend the connection we have.It’s out of this world.

I often catch myself thinking aboutour first encounter. The night her mom introduced her after months of dating mydad.

Toya shook my soul the instant our eyeslocked. Beauty and body like no other. But aside from the surface assets thatmake her an impeccable force, the way she filled my world with her light anderased the darkness is something I’ll cherish forever.

When she left, Toya carried part ofmy lifeforce with her, and I’ll remain sliced in two until I can wrap my armsaround her again and drown myself in her divine body.

Our hot Facetime sessions barely satisfythe thirst. If anything, it worsens the yearning. But I’m a glutton for painand will take whatever I can.

“Are you sleeping well?” Dad questions,pausing by the car with a box.

I snap out of my head and shrug ashoulder. “I get enough.”

“Toya isn’t gone for good, son.It’ll be Thanksgiving before you know it.” He starts for the front door, and Ifollow behind.

It’s great that his support for myrelationship has improved. As for Lisa, there’s no doubt she’s still uneasy. Atleast it’s not as bad anymore.

Dad stops in the entry and sets thebox on top of the pile dropped off by the moving company. He glances at me withworry on his face. “You’re not taking pills again, are you?” He’s always sodirect.

I scoff. “No, Dad. I made a promiseto Toya and myself. And to Mom’s memory. I’m keeping it.”

A proud smile wipes away his concern.“That’s good. I’m glad you’re sticking to it.” He reaches out to pat myshoulder.

Lisa walks into the living room then,after minutes of talking on her phone in the backyard.

It’s no surprise she fell in lovewith the contemporary-style home after seeing the water. They’ve downsized abit. It’s not as large as our old house. But I understand why they’d want afresh start—a place to fill with their own memories.

While I’ve done someinsatiablethings with Toya at the previous home, it’s a relief to move on from the ghost ofmy mom’s illness and Lisa’s loss haunting every corner.

“Everything all right, love?” Dadasks her when she moseys up to him in the entry.

“Yeah.” She pastes on a smile thatdoesn’t quite reach her deep brown eyes, the same shade as Toya’s. “All done?”

Dad nods and smiles in return. “Thisis the last of what was in my car. Now it’s time to unpack.”

“I’m so excited,” she says, swathingher arm around his waist and leaning into him. “I can’t wait to decorate ournew forever home.”

He chuckles. “You sure you don’twant me to bring in someone for that?”

“No, Dan.” Lisa clicks her tongueand playfully slaps his arm. “It’s my dream.”

“All right.” He follows with a kisson her forehead. “You have total control.”

I stick my hands in my pockets whileobserving them. They truly are in love. Seeing Dad happy again after losing mymom warms my heart.

They both snap to me as if only nowremembering my presence.

“Staying for dinner, Varen?” Lisaasks.

It’s a relief that she’s been moreopen, making a lot of attempts to include me.

“Oh, actually, I have an onlineclass starting soon, and…” I don’t have to finish.

Her lips tighten a little, even as shenods in understanding.

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