Page 36 of Risks

“Will someone say something,” Danielurges. “Lisa?”

I focus on Mom, convinced it has todo with my father. “Why don’t you want me speaking to him?”

She repeatedly wipes her hands onher dress, a nervous action when she feels backed against the wall.

“He left, Toya,” she points outharshly.

“There’s something else. What is it?”

Profound fear masks her appearance,but she’s looking at Daniel. Not me. She only cares about him—another man over herdaughter.

“Mom!” I snap, becoming impatient. “Whatare you keeping from me?”

“He didn’t…” She’s mumbling. Herwords are inaudible.

“What?” I splay my hands. “Will youplease—”

“He didn’t know you were alive!” sheyells, eyes turning red with tears. “I told him I had an abortion. I lied tohim.”

Shock rattles my body. “Uhh...you…”

“Oh my god!” Alison and Daniel blurtat the same time.

“Jesus, Lisa,” Daniel reproaches her.He’s yelling other things, but I can’t understand what he’s saying.

The room is closing in on me,sucking the air from my lungs. My legs are suddenly weak, and I’m starting tofall. Strong arms cloak my body before I hit the floor.

Mom is crying, moving back from me.

No, she’s in the same place. It’sme. I’m the one moving.

Varen’s taking me away.

Why isn’t Mom coming after me? Doesn’tshe care that she’s destroyed me?

She must not give a damn because she’sconstantly breaking my heart. Mymother. The woman who swore she lovedme. I don’t believe it anymore. This new revelation is the final proof that shedoesn’t give a fuck about me.

Someone’s whimpering painfully.

It takes a second to realize the pitifulsounds are mine.

I cling to Varen’s arms, the onlyones that ever made me feel safe.

I don’t want to be here. I need togo.

An escape. A place to breathe.

To scream.

The office and everyone disappearfrom my blurry view. Voices yell in the background, but the words soundgarbled.

I can’t hear anything.

My world is collapsing.

Varen carries me outside into thecold air, sets me in his car, and takes off.

My panting is increasing, and so arethe whimpers. Is this a panic attack?

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