“If she avoids you at dinner, don’tmake a scene,” Dad warns. “My friends will be there.”
“They’re still coming over?” Iconfirm.
He nods. “I opted to cancel, butLisa insisted on going through with it. She says she’s always wanted to hostholiday dinners, and she thought it’d be a distraction for Toya. Get her backinto the Christmas spirit.”
Bullshit.
According to Toya’s diary, Lisabarely celebrated the holidays. I bet it’s to avoid telling Toya the truth foras long as possible. With my dad’s friends at the house, she’ll feel assured Iwon’t cause any drama.
“Let’s have breakfast at Mom’sfavorite café in the morning,” Alison suggests, pulling me out of my thoughts.“Just you and me, in honor of her memory.”
I sigh and tell her, “Sure. I’llmeet you there at eight.”
Dad straightens first. “I hope youand Toya get through this. I truly do. Don’t push her into anything she’suncomfortable with, son.”
“I get it, Dad. It won’t happenagain. I love her too much to cause any unnecessary pain.”
He only nods and motions to Alison.
My sister leans over for a kiss onmy cheek and a snug embrace. “Happy holidays, little bro.”
“Yeah, happy holidays.”
Sadly, I may have ruined it foreveryone.
It’s refreshing to spend time with mybig sister, especially since we’ve always been close and were never the type ofsiblings to spew hate at each other.
Breakfast is filled with laughter,distracting me a little from the heartache I caused Toya and the chaos of theday before.
“You know, I miss Mom’s scavengerhunts,” Alison says after the waitress clears our table. “She was the coolest.Just the best Mom anyone could ask for.”
“Yeah.” I do an internal check,realizing it doesn’t feel heavy like it used to whenever Mom is the subject. “I’mglad we came here. It’s been so long.”
“Hm.” She glances at the table inthought, then looks up and asks, “Would you like to visit her grave with me?”
“Now?” I confirm.
She nods. “I figured we could bringfresh flowers since it’s Christmas.”
“That’s fine,” I agree. “We shouldgo.”
Her ashen-gray eyes sparkle alongwith her smile. “Youhavegotten better, haven’t you?”
I sniff. “I have, sis.”
“Good. I’m glad.” She continuessmiling at me even as we rise from the table.
There’s a flower shop convenientlydown the street from the café. After choosing a bouquet together, we head tothe cemetery.
I spot other people at the burialsites of their loved ones as we silently stroll toward Mom’s gravestone. My stomachclenches a little when we reach, but I relax the nerves after a deep breath.
Alison removes the withered flowersand places the fresh ones on top.
No words are spoken while we stand there,talking to our mom with our hearts.
I ask her questions like if she’slooking down from Heaven and if she’s upset with me for what I did. I choose tobelieve she’d understand if she were here.
Alison expels a low hum at the sametime as me. It’s as if we’ve both said all we wanted for now.