Page 21 of Risks

“What’s up, babe?”

“I miss you,” I say in a low tone.

“Miss you, too. It’ll be Christmasbefore you know it.” He sounds like he’s trying to be positive, but I hear theloneliness in his voice.

“It’s hard.”

He blows deeply into the phone. “Well,it’s good that you joined a club. Maybe doing other things will distract yourmind from missing me.”

I roll my eyes out of habit. “Varen,it doesn’t matter what I do. But…” I pause at a thought. “Am I making it hardby calling and telling you how much I miss you every day? Does it make it worseforyou?”

“Stop,” he says, a low chucklefollowing that. “No. It’s hard for us both. It’ll get easier to manage aftersome time. Not saying I’ll miss you less, just that it won’t feel so painful.”

Or perhaps it’ll never be lesspainful.

Maybe Varen and I are meant to be together.It certainly feels like my soul isn’t whole whenever we’re apart.

“We’ll see.” I trace the edge of thedesk with my finger.

“You know, I was thinking about themoment when I fell in love with you.”

“Oh?” Warmth swells inside my chest.“When was it?”

He sniffs. “I’ll let you figure itout.”

“Varen,” I groan. “Please. I want toknow.”

“You do know, babe. Think about it.”

I try to recall every moment, wantingto pinpoint when things shifted between us, and his behavior towards me becamemore intense. But it was always a force with Varen from the start.

“Hey, V!” Finn bellows in thebackground. “Colt’s here!”

“Other friends are stopping by?” Iquestion.

“Yeah, we’re just chilling.” Hequickly assures, “No drugs. I promise.”

“I know. I believe you.”

Boisterous chatter resounds, and Ihear Finn’s laughter. “I haven’t seen some of my friends in a while.”

“I get it.” I release a deep breathand tell him, “We’ll talk later.”

“I’ll call you when I’m at the apartment.I love you, babe.”

“Love you, too.”

“Um…” A strange pause settles on theline before he rasps, “Toya?”

“Hm?” I crumple my brows. “What’sup?”

Varen delays again before tellingme, “Try not to be sad, okay? Time moves fast.”

“Mmhm. Have fun with the guys. Talklater.”

“Okay.” He utters a low and sexygrowl. “See you on Facetime, baby. Keep it wet for me.”

I snort and roll my eyes. “Don’tkeep me waiting too long, or I’ll finish by myself.”

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