Page 86 of Roulette: The Madam

“Yeah or whatever his knotty neck ass name is.”

“Israel,” Malachi corrected him.

“Israel, Egypt, Jerusalem, Asia… same shit.”

“Definitely not the same,” I disagreed.

“Whatever his name is, that nigga looks like he’s ready to spend his entire fortune on you.”

“As he should,” I sniggered. “Cause–”

“You ain’t a man until you can build it again,” Malachi recited Maurice’s favorite line.

“Exactly,” I co-signed.

There was a disheartening, agonizing pause that left us all with our chins near our chests. After a few seconds, Malachi pushed out a long stream of oxygen.

“We should get going, Roulette.”

“I understand.” I nodded. “Thank you for coming. Both of you.”

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around Malachi. Makai was next. When I pulled back, parts of my heart shattered. It did every time they were in my presence. Not only had they lost their parents but they’d lost a sister and a wife for Malachi.

I’d never identify with their pain, but I wasn’t numb to it. I felt it. Almost every bit of it. They carried it around like badges of honor. It made them who they were.

“I love you. Both of you. This lifetime and all the others.”

“Love you, too.”

“It’s all love, sis,” Makai finalized, tossing a middle finger over his shoulder as they headed in the opposite direction.

“I can’t stand you either,” I snickered, “See you later.”

“Later, Rou,” Makai yelled.

I rested my shoulder against the wall and watched as they made their way down the hallway. Even when they were nolonger in my line of vision, I remained. Something kept me grounded. Rooted.

Maybe it was the heaviest heart they always left me with. Maybe it was the fact that seeing them reminded me that Teddy existed but not in Clarke, anymore. He was in a far, far away place.

I couldn’t reach out and touch him whenever I felt vulnerable or needy. I couldn’t pop up at his home because I was bored. I couldn’t see him whenever I chose because there was so much distance between us. A drive to his house wouldn’t ease my mind. I had to take a flight. A long, grueling one that emphasized his absence.

EIGHT

“Sweet.”

The familiar, impressive tenor summoned every fiber of me. I welcomed the challenge.

“Thirty minutes is far from over.”

“I only needed ten.”

“The door is that way,” I replied, nodding toward the direction I’d watched aimlessly after Malachi and Makai disappeared.

“If it’s not your door that I’m walking through, then I’m not w–”

“I own the building, Israel. They’re all my doors,” I grimaced, unfolding my arms and turning around to face him.

“There she is.”

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