Page 83 of Roulette: The Madam

“Man, I would’ve laid Manish ass the fuck down hadn’t he moved out the way. Don’t insult me like that. He was taught to shoot his gun. I was born to shoot mine. There’s a big fucking difference.”

“There is,” I agreed, knowing the feeling all too well. “Come on. Let me get you two a drink so you can calm down.”

“If you want this nigga calm, a drink is the wrong way to go about it,” Malachi reminded me.

“It’s only one. He’ll behave–as best he can, anyway.”

Makai’s shrugging shoulders should’ve been the red flag that stopped me in my tracks, but I pushed forward. Somehow, I found his antics satisfying. It was partially due to the fact that I saw more of me in him than I did any of my other siblings.

Though they only shared Chemistry’s blood, we were connected for life. Since a young girl, I’d been asking God why he hadn’t given us all the same mother and father. However, Catherine and Maurice’s contributions were too precious and unique to have been given to Rhea and Richie.

They had their hands full with eight children of their own, but I would’ve loved to have Mercer, Malachi, Makai, and Milo in our home long term. Summer visits to Clarke and weekend visits to Berkeley simply wasn’t enough. I wanted them near. I needed them near. Not for my selfish reasons, but for the man I loved with every fiber of my being.

Their absence left him with permanent resentment toward the woman who’d birthed him. As much as he loved her, he despised her decision to end her life because it wedged a gap between him and his brothers that he had absolutely no control over.

“See, that’s why you’re my favorite.”

I chuckled, “Lies.”

Rome was his favorite girl. Rome was everyone’s favorite girl simply because she was the baby of the bunch with her goldenheart on her sleeves and her magnetic persona leading every relationship she’d ever formed.

“Lies,” Malachi agreed.

“Second favorite, then. Rome doesn’t play fair.”

“She’s our baby,” I told him, “They never play fair.”

“Rome aside, and you’re the one, baby girl.”

“Um hmm.”

We took our seats at the bar, falling into comfortable, casual conversation as if we hadn’t missed a moment of one another’s lives, although the hurtful reality was we’d missed far too much time.

I enteredthe quiet room with Makai and Malachi on my heels.

Click.

Clack.

Click.

Clack.

We parted ways almost immediately. Makai stood with his feet expanded and his hands pulled together in front of him in the corner furthest from the door. Malachi’s stance hardly differed from his brother. He was near the door with his back pressed against the wall.

I wasted little time conquering the room. All eyes were on me. I found comfort in being the center of everyone’s attention. The role suited me all too well.

“I am not a friend. I am notyourfriend.”

The words that began each monologue that was the start of the journey to meetingThe Chemistrolled effortlessly off mytongue. It had been so long since I’d tasted them on my buds. I paced the front of the room, far from unnerved. All my endings had been repaired with a single visit from two very important people in my life.

Two people I missed and loved dearly. Two people who were canvasing the room, watching everything and everyone between the walls around us. Two people who would shoot first and ask questions later. Two people I could trust.

Click.

Clack.

“I am your connection. I am a piece to a larger puzzle. I am your right of passage. I am your ticket to the next stop. I am your gateway.”

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