Page 7 of Roulette: The Madam

Her partner said so.

Her incredible shade of brown said so.

The smell of her designer perfume said so.

Quietly, I gathered myself, watching from afar as he did things to her that he’d done to me countless times. My heart hammered against my chest. With each stroke of his, my temperature rose a notch. I tilted my head, attempting to suppress whatever was happening inside of me.

I failed miserably. One foot was in front of the other before I had a chance to solidify my next move. My approach led to an internal and external battle, instantaneously. I fought myself the entire way across the room until finally, I made it by Chino’s side. His proximity lulled me, making my next move abundantly clear.

I placed a hand on his shoulder, alerting him of my presence. The warmth in his eyes had vanished. Baffled, I pulled his face toward mine and pressed our lips up against each other.

Oh, I’ve missed you. I admitted, silently.

His head maneuvered, deepening our kiss. Without words, I understood his stance. He, too, missed every fucking inch of me.

Without missing a beat, he indulged in the sexually arousing wrestling match between our tongues. His hand fell from the waist of the brown beauty and met my center. Without hesitation, he penetrated me with his middle and index finger.

“Uh,” I moaned against his lips.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he apologized, barely above a whisper.

His apology felt useless. His actions didn’t come as a surprise. Neither were they upsetting. Though claimed, Chino was a semi-free agent. So was I. It was the way we preferred our relationship. It was the way welovedour relationship. It wasn’t the traditional route, but I hardly took that road.

I kept my dealings to a minimum. Flirting was almost always as far as I got with men other than Chino. However, we both enjoyed the company of women and we enjoyed their company often.

The opennessof our relationship came with only a few rules.

Rule#1: Stay away from peopleI know, trust, and love.

Rule #2:Don’tfuck with anyone who couldfuck with my money.

Rule #3: Absolutelyno children.

I wasa busy woman and couldn’t fathom entertaining a man every day of my existence. Allowing Chino to ruffle his feathers in other places allowed me the freedom of a single woman without being one. I was delighted when someone held his interest for a while. It made my job easier and kept my money plentiful.

Coming home to a meal I’d prepared for hours, a clean home that had taken me half the day, folded laundry, and a back rub would never be Chino’s reality with me. So, giving him a glimpse of domestic partnership with temporary partners served us well. Not all of my home-cooked meals came from the chef.

Some were from the women we’d taken a liking to. I was spoiled, not only by him, but the women who adored us as well. It was always clear where I stood in his life, where they stood, and how they were to contribute to his world before being exiled. The perks of our arrangement were endless as long as no rules were broken.

Even as a young girl, I despised the idea of monogamy, didn’t desire it, and was repulsed by the thought of it. I promised myself I’d reserve my freedom, the right to change my mind a hundred times, and my individuality.

Meeting Chino allowed me to keep that promise. He came into my life expecting to be met with the demands of the average relationship. He was met with my unorthodox desires which he adapted to fairly quickly.

My honeycomb invited him deeper inside of me. Greedily, it sucked his fingers while lubricating them with my sweetness. I oozed as we swapped saliva.

“I love you, Roulette.”

His remorseful plea raised flags within and all around me. I pulled back, reciting the words that he heard more often than not.

“As you should.”

Chino had more pieces of my heart than any man who didn’t share my blood and would ever have. But, it wasn’t solely his. I understood as a young girl that I wasn’t like the others. Weddings and hearts didn’t quite appeal to me.

I didn’t grow up with my life’s goals including marriage, love, and children. I wanted money and I wanted plenty of it. Anything that would keep me from obtaining as much of it as I could before my time on earth ended was simply not of interest.

Being head over heels for any human happened to be one of those things. I loved Chino as deeply as my heart would allow. Judging by the way Malachi loved Anna and Aeir, Milo loved Nature, Makai loved Glacier, Mercer loved Vallei, Teddy loved Egypt, Rather loved Priest, and Rugger loved Psalms, my love was surface-level.

Nonetheless, I loved him as much as I could ever love a man, although it was at a minimal capacity compared to those around me. My father had been clear when he told me that my reality would never resemble anyone else’s and that was the beauty of individualism. He’d taught us all to be our own kind of special. I wasn’t the exception and neither was my heart.

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