Page 38 of Roulette: The Madam

One day. I told myself, feeling like it was more of a lie than I’d ever admit.

As the pain subsided, I withdrew smoke from the cigar and exhaled. The waves clashed, waving the white flag, again.

Peace.

I spent my days trying to find it. The closer I came to obtaining it, the further the goal post was moved. But, like any other fight I’d been in, I wasn’t giving up. The journey was where the lessons were plentiful, the boundaries were clarified, and the idea of perfection didn’t exist.

My vibrating phone disrupted the snippet of that thing I was in search of. I pulled it from my pocket to find a name I was quite fond of across the screen.

Chino.

He was one of the few people in the world that I gave more than a few seconds of my time. Blessing him with my presence didn’t feel inauthentic. He had a purpose in my life. Though I hadn’t figured it out yet, I was fine with serving my purpose in his.

For ten years, he’d been under my mentorship. He was only five years younger than me, but he was a kid when I first encountered him–mentally. He’d matured over the last ten years and it was beautiful seeing him evolve.

I answered the line. Exhaling a new cloud of smoke, I waited for him to acknowledge his reason for making contact. His hesitation sparked concern, but I remained quiet. When he was ready, I would be.

“El–” he began.

“We both know my name, Chino.”

“Right. Righ–” he paused, “I uh– I’m calling for a few things. I guess I’ll start by asking if it’s a good time to holler at you.”

“If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have answered. Speak your mind.”

“Bet. Well, I’m expecting a child at the end of the third quarter.”

The news was surprising. The woman he’d chosen as his partner was knee deep in the game. Children would be the last thing on her agenda, or so I’d thought. Hearing Chino tell me otherwise brought the corners of my lips upward. She was atough cookie. The best of the bunch. If he’d managed to convince her to prolong his legacy, then I commended him.

“Good, good. Congratulations to you two, but I’d have to see this shit to believe it.”

“It’s believable, El, because it’s not Roulette who is having my child.”

I clicked my tongue against my teeth. My smile faded and my head shook from one side to the other as if he could see me.

“Chino—”

“I know. Man, I’ve fucked up, but we will get to that. The first order of business is making good on my word.”

I chuckled, remembering his declaration clearly.

If ever a child of mine sees the light, prepare to step fully into your role as their Godfather.

“I remember,” I assured him. “I’d be honored.”

“Good, now to the next order of business.”

“I’m listening.”

“It’s Roulette.”

“Um hm.” I urged his continuation as I pulled on the cigar again.

“She left me.”

“As she should,” I expressed. “You had a gem, Chino. You pulled a lame’s move. Never lose an asset for a liability. Haven’t I told you this a hundred times.”

“Yeah. Yeah. I know. I fucked up, but I’m not trying to lose her. You feel me?”

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