Page 3 of Roulette: The Madam

Each second my body remained pressed against his as he squeezed me in those long phalanges of his, a piece of my heart was mended.

“Better?” His voice cracked as he asked.

Nodding, I responded. Words were impossible, just as my love for Teddy was. Just as his love for me was.

He pulled back when he knew, for sure, I could stand on my own two feet.

Mentally.

Physically.

Emotionally.

“Chemistr– you’re c– are you crying?”

Every piece he’d mended broke, again.

“Nah, it’s raining, kid.” He chuckled.

The pain was in his laugh. In his eyes. In his posture. The defeat etched worry lines and wrinkles on his skin.

While he was at peace and utterly happy in St. Catana, the place he’d built for the very reason he was here, he wasn’t atpeace with our departure. Neither was he at peace with us being so far away without instant access to him.

“Liar,” I whimpered.

“Cheer up, Roulette. I’m good. You good?”

“I’m still deciding. As a real nigga, I can’t believe how many times I’ve cried in the last three days. This is not player of me. I will never forgive myself. I’m too real for this shit, Teddy.”

He nodded, boosting my ego, “You are. You are, Roulette. So am I, but matters of the heart know no character. Players and real niggas all hurt the same.”

He wiped my tears with the knuckle of his index finger.

“So, if you don’t tell, then I won’t,” I suggested.

“Deal, baby.”

“Good.”

“Get on that plane, Roulette. And never forget who you are, even in my absence. Choose your company wisely. Your time is valuable. Make them pay and add taxes. Your presence is too precious.

“Maintain your boundaries. Harden them given the circumstances. I’m not there. Dismiss anything that doesn’t bring you peace. Protect your fucking heart, girl. It’s gold. Dead situations that no longer benefit you.

“Stay focused. Stay ready. Keep one in the chamber. Keep an extra clip. And, only use the switch. If someone plays with you, let that fucking Glock sing. I’ll clean up the mess.”

He paused, looking at me with a smile in his eyes that never reached his face. Pride swelled his chest. The hairs on my skin stood at attention.

“You make me so proud, baby girl. You are so goddamn rare. You have a gift. Understand that you don’t and never will compromise. Every move you make should be an investment in this–”

He pointed at my chest.

“And this–”

He pointed at my head.

“And this–”

He rubbed his thumb across the four fingers that were upright.

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