Page 26 of Roulette: The Madam

“Rule number one, stay away from people I know, trust, and love. Rule number two, don’t fuck with anyone who could fuck with my money. Rule number three,absolutely no children,” I emphasized, adding a finger with each number I called out.

“I–”

I cut him off, “Not one. Not two. But, three. All three rules, Chino. I don’t give a damn how sick you look, there’s nothing you could do or say to make me consider forgiveness. You fumbled enough footballs in school to understand what’s happening here.

“They were the reason your NFL dreams didn’t come to life. Let this be your second lesson to hold the fuck on and carry it home. Cause trust me, another nigga is waiting on a pick-six and you just gave it to him.”

“I don’t give a fuck what a nigga waiting on, Roulette. I’m not giving this shit up. I don’t care how long it takes, what I have to do, or what you feel like you need to do. If fucking these niggasmake you feel better, then let’s get to it. I’ll be right here when you’re ready to come home. You know where the fuck that’s at.”

“Fuck you, Chino,” I scoffed, heading toward my door.

The conversation was pointless. I was unsure why I had stayed back as long as I had to entertain him. I gained access to my gorgeous home with a turn of my key. The door never touched the threshold.

Chino’s firm frame halted its movement. His hand slammed it behind us as he urged me further inside. I shoved my hand into my purse, ready to send him to the pits much sooner than God had intended.

“Roulette–” he gritted through his teeth as he grabbed ahold of my hand. “There’s no need for the fire. Put that shit down. I’ve done some fucked up shit, but I’m no stranger and I won’t harm you. I can’t. I’m not built like that. Not when it comes to you, at least.

“I just want you to calm down and think about this shit, baby. I know I fucked up. I take full responsibility. And, I’m owed whatever you bring my way. But, when that shit is all done, can you come home? I don’t give a fuck what I have to do… how much I have to pay…

“You’re the love of my life. I can’t fathom not being the nigga for you. I’m sorry. You have to believe me. That shit is over, Roulette. It was never her. It’s always been you. She was just something to do because I didn’t have shit else to do. I’m wrong. I’m dead fucking wrong. I’m sorry.”

He pulled me in, attempting to bury me in his chest. Feeling the weight of everything around me, I allowed myself to breathe. Slowly, I inhaled. And, slowly, I exhaled.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated.

I pulled back after I’d gathered myself.

“You don’t look sorry to me, Chino.”

“What you mean, Roulette? I’m here– begging and shit. Letting you talk to me however you want out of that reckless ass mouth of yours. What else you want me to do?”

I tilted my head toward the ground.

“I know a sorry ass nigga when I see one and you aren’t that nigga. Make me a fucking believer.”

“HOW?”

“On your knees. Every time I see you, you need to be on your knees. Begging. Pleading. And, proving to me you’ll truly do anything to be back in my good graces.”

His gaze didn’t possess the power to penetrate me anymore. I’d established my boundaries. I’d built the fence around my heart.

I’d programmed my head. There was nothing he could do to gain access to those parts of me anymore. His residency had been revoked.

I stared back at him, unmoved. Another tip of my head toward the floor assured him I was not joking. Every word out of my mouth was truthful.

I watched with pleasure as his body lowered to the ground. His knees pressed into the wooden planks on the floor.

“There.”

“Roulet–”

“You look and sound better already,” I complimented. “Now, what were you saying?”

“It’s whatever you want. Whatever you want, Roulette. Just say the word.”

I toyed with my options. Chino was a man of his word. Until Kiara, he’d never broken a promise or told me he’d do something he wouldn’t. He was a stand up which was one of the main reasons I fell for him.

Because my thoughts were foggy from exhaustion and I couldn’t quite conjure a decent idea or compensation demands,I lifted my skirt and propped my foot on the console table in the entryway.

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