Page 160 of Roulette: The Madam

“But, I think calling him is a good idea. Maybe today is the day he’ll answer.”

“Maybe.”

“Whenever you talk to him, let him know that I want to meet him. And, regardless of him having you on punishment, I have absolutely nothing to do with that. I expect to see him at dinner after the show.”

“I will be sure to tell him.”

“Thank you. Now, I’m going to get off this phone. Psalms is cooking dinner and I want my food hot when I make it over to their home.”

“Goodnight, Rhea.”

“Goodnight, baby.”

I endedthe call with my mother and initiated a new call. I pressed the speakerphone button and laid the phone on my vanity as I reapplied my lip balm. The lemon drop I finished as I applied a light beat and chatted with my mom had stripped away the moisture.

Over.

And over.

And over again.

The phone rang until I was prompted to leave a voicemail. Swallowing every ounce of pride I had within my being, I lifted the phone up to my lips and waited for the beat.

“I’m missing you, Big Fella.”

Replaying the message would remind me that I’d been reduced to asking a man for his attention. I wasn’t ready to face those facts yet. So I disconnected the call without another word.

“Ugh.”

Shame and defeat tasted bitter in my mouth. For the first time in my thirty-one years, I missed a man and I wanted him to know it.

“Shit is gross,” I gagged. “Ugh.”

I stood from my vanity in the platform pumps that projected my feelings effortlessly. In every lifetime, I wasthatgirl. This one wasn’t the exception. I headed downstairs with my glass in my hand. I’d be needing another drink or three.

My silk gown and robe to match swayed with each move I made. The fabric felt breezy against my skin. The breathability of the set was insane. Though it was a gift from Rather, I’d be purchasing more.

I entered my kitchen as the automated lights illuminated my path. From the fridge, I grabbed the ingredients needed for another drink. I placed the mixer underneath the ice machine and pressed down.

It filled quickly with cubed ice. I placed it on the counter next to everything I’d extracted from the fridge. One by one, I poured them into the shaker.

“A little more won’t hurt,” I claimed, tipping the liquor again before placing it on the counter.

As I mixed the lemon drop, I considered the night ahead. Staying home wasn’t optional. I’d spent the better half of my day in my office at the club, but I had every intention of returning. The new structure was working better than I’d imagined.

The money was flowing effortlessly. The clientele was growing slowly. Exclusivity as a perk had everyone talking about their membership and everyone they mentioned it to wanting in. The referrals were endless.

We weren’t in a rush to give new members clearance. The waiting game increased their anticipation and helped them lace their pockets a little more. They’d need the extra funds to keep up with the demands ofRoulette.

With the perfectly crafted lemon drop in my hand, I put away the ingredients and strutted into my living room. A call to the girls crossed my mind, but I wasn’t prepared to listen to them clown me about the state of my emotions.

A chuckle fell from my lips at the sound of Royce and Range going back and forth, piggybacking off each other. The fact that they made valid points every time was maddening.

Them bitches make me sick.

“Ugh.”

I was feeling so many things. But, it was vulnerability that peaked my despair. It was as if someone had cut me open with a kitchen knife. Harm wasn’t their intention. Observation was. They preferred me on full display. Mind. Heart. Body.

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