Page 154 of Roulette: The Madam

“Well, you’re wrong. And, I won’t let that fear outweigh all the other reasons you would’ve said yes.”

He removed the shirt from his body and placed it over mine after loosening the first two buttons. He placed his jacket over his bare shoulders.

Israel lowered himself to the floor. On his knees he took my hands into his. He looked up at me, shaking his head as he inhaled deeply.

“You have every right to feel how you’re feeling. It wasn’t until this moment that I realized my selfishness and hunger for your presence affected you so negatively. I’m wrong, Roulette. And, I’ll never be too tough or too far gone to admit when I’m wrong. I didn’t ignore your boundaries, baby, I was just so blinded by the things that made you so right for my world that I overlooked them.

“I avoided them. And, I told myself that if you just experienced me, then they wouldn’t harm the connection I was trying to build with you. But, still, that was selfish of me. So, right now, I want you to understand how much I respect you and your boundaries and if it’s my words that you want to hear to make this shit official, then my words you’ll have.

“Because, in my head and in my heart, you’re already mine from your head to your soles. And, I’m yours, Princess. From my head to my soles. But, I want you to have something to mark in your calendar each year. Something to anticipate. Something to celebrate when it comes to our love and commitment to each other. So–

“Roulette, I adore the time we spend together. You make my life so much more exhilarating and interesting and fulfilling and content. I know my life isn’t the ideal life you’ve made up in that pretty head of yours, but it’s worth it. I promise. I come with a fifteen year old daughter and an ex who is addicted to heroin.

She has a heart of gold, but she’s stuck in a vicious cycle that is affecting the livelihood and mental health of our child. I think your presence would greatly influence the girl I’m trying to train up into a thriving adult in society. She’s sad and she’s lonely but she’s brilliant. You’d love her.

“I’m no perfect man and I don’t live a perfect life, but somehow, I think you could make it feel as close to the ideal of perfection as it gets. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. I want you in my world. Not as a friend. Not as a fucking buddy. Not as a fleeting presence. I want you and all your craziness, stubbornness, chaos, and liberation in my world permanently.

“Will you be? And, I’m not asking you, baby. I’m begging. Because, I don’t want to do this shit alone anymore. I want you, Princess. But, I need you, too. So does my daughter. So does our home. You are the missing piece to our puzzle. We’re just hoping we’re the pieces you didn’t know you were missing.”

My nostrils flared as I combatted my truest, deepest emotions. I cupped the sides of Israel’s face and brought him closer.

“Yes. I will be, because I don’t think I want to do this alone anymore either.”

Israel stood and brought me along with him. He wasted no time exiting Matías bedroom. My heart broke for the man laying on the bed, cold as a deli sandwich. My game wasn’t the only game he was a pawn in. He was on Israel’s chessboard as well and he’d just gotten eliminated.

“Don’t get it twisted, Princess. You’re on punishment.”

I remained silent. I was too fixated on the massacre before me. Body after body flooded the mansion. Suddenly, Matías’ death didn’t hurt so much. Israel had cleared out his entire army of men who were responsible for my safety and his while I was in his possession.

The thought of being touchable was repulsive. Chemistry would have a time turning Colombia inside out, but I’d be turning over in my grave knowing I put my safety in the hands of a group of motherfuckers who didn’t even see fire when it was in front of them.

We emerged from the mansion to find Raquim standing near a black truck. The AR in his hand was sexy, but I wasn’t very happy to see the person holding it.

“Good evening, Roulette.”

“Fuck you, Raquim.”

I slid into the back of the SUV and waited for Israel to do the same. He didn’t. I observed in complete disarray as he removed a small can of lighter fluid from underneath the seat. In a clear bottle, he shoved the pocket square from his suit.

“Isr–”

“You don’t get to talk, Princess. You get to sit. You get to listen. You get to learn not to fuck with me. And you get to watchme burn this motherfucker to the ground.Unless, you care to join me.”

No words surfaced. My eyes and heart grew twice their size instantly. Somehow, someway Israel was sexier, better, and grumpier than before and I was here for every bit of it.

With his right foot, he slammed the door of the truck, silencing me at once. Slowly, he removed a box of matches from his pocket and struck one against the carton. He lit the fiery cocktail and tossed it into the home of Matîas.

Like a madman, he stood with his hands inside his pockets, patiently waiting for the flame to connect with a stitch of fabric. He didn’t have to wait very long. The shirt of his victim dangled from the stairs where the bottle had stopped rolling. It was immediately engulfed. Satisfied, Israel opened the door and slid in beside me. Within minutes, the wheels were burning against the ground and we were en route to an unknown destination.

It wasn’t long before I discovered where we were headed. And, it wasn’t long before we arrived. One by one, we made our way up the stairs and onto the plane.

The tension in the air could be sliced with a knife. Israel pointed to the seat designated for my nearly bare ass. His shirt was lengthy, but so was I. Deciding against protesting, I had a seat and accepted the blanket he handed me.

Quietly, I observed as he settled in. His facial muscles hadn’t rested yet. They were contorting his features and making him even more desirable than he already was. I throbbed between the legs, realizing how much I appreciated the vexed version of Israel.

Maybe I’m just a little toxic, I sniggered.

He cut his head in my direction. Unblinking, he stared at me, wondering what the fuck was funny. I waved my hand, letting him know my white flag was high in the sky. He’d just killed atleast twenty-five men. I didn’t want any smoke. Not tonight. Not without my piece.

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