Page 143 of Roulette: The Madam

We approached the lone table, set for two on the edge of the shore–where land met water.

“I guess the sounds of nature won’t help your need for sleep. But, fuck it. I’ll cradle you in my arms like a baby if you happen to doze.”

“Will you, now?”

She smiled, allowing me to pull out her chair. She sat and I squatted until my long legs were bent forward and we were face to face.

“I will, Princess.”

“I’m fine, Israel. I just needed to get out of the car or I would’ve fallen asleep.”

“You were well on your way.”

“Thanks for keeping me alive with conversation.”

“My pleasure.”

I kissed her quickly. Her lipstick didn’t budge this time. She reapplied it in the car, and it felt differently. It was apparent she’d changed the brand or the kind. It wasn’t shiny. It was dry, settling in the small cracks of her oversized lips.

“Roulette?”

“Hm?”

“As much as I love my name rolling off your tongue, I’d like it if you got acquainted with other names. Ones that don’t include my government. It’s not always–best.”

“It isn’t,” she agreed.

I lowered my frame slightly. She looked down at me, licking her tongue across her coated lips. She was deep in thought, considering her options. She was a swift thinker. A very wise and knowledgeable girl. I knew the words were at the tip of her tongue. She was just waiting for the perfect one to speak.

“Rae–”

I chuckled, shaking my head.

“El, like everyone else calls you.” She chuckled, slightly offended by my disapproval.

“You’re not everyone else, Princess.”

“Well, Rae.”

Sighing, I shrugged. “Rae, then.”

“OrBaby. OrBubs. OrFella. Or, I don’t know, handsome. I’ve never given a man a name other than the one his mother has given him. But, at the same time, I’ve never felt things for another man tha–”

She paused and took a deep, regretful breath. A forced smile concealed her true emotions.

“I like Fella. I like Baby. I like Bubs. And, I like you. A whole hell of a lot, Roulette. And, feeling things for me you’ve neverfelt for another man is okay. In fact, it’s preferred. Because, I feel things for you I’ve never felt for anyone else, too.

“I can't quite put it into words yet, but when I can, you will be the first to hear it. Don’t shy away. There’s no need to. You feel differently because I am different and the same goes for me. You’re unlike anything else I’ve ever known, Princess. You’re a dream.”

I stood to my full potential and pulled her chin up by my index finger.

“And, if you need more time thinking of something that fitsyouand comfortsyou, I’ll wait. I just wanted to put that on your dome.”

Before I could take a single step in the other direction, Roulette was out of her chair, towering over the table as she interlocked her hands around my neck. She stepped closer and closer until our bodies met. I grew rigid against her.

“I know that I’m different. I’ve known it from a young child. So did my family. I’m aware that I’m not the safest option and I never will be, but our time together brings me so much joy. It makes things make sense that never have in this head of mine.”

As she spoke, she lowered her right hand until she reached my elongated tool. It was threatening to bust the zippers of my pants.

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