Page 133 of Roulette: The Madam

“I’m about as calm as I’m going to get!”

I ended the call and marched around my ride to get inside. Raquim hadn’t moved. I rolled the window down, looking him square in the eyes as I warned him.

“Follow me if you want to and I’m going to pick your casket out myself.”

I burned rubber out of the parking spot I’d made for myself. I didn’t get very far before my phone was ringing over the speakers in my car. Frustrated with Israel’s ability to upset me, I answered the call. Because, while I hated the way he looked after me, I loved it at the same time.

It reminded me of my brother’s protective nature. It didn’t matter how much I fought him about sticking his nose in my affairs, he continued to do so. As maddening as it was, I knew it was for my good.

“What is it, Israel?”

“This had little to do with me, Princess. And, everything to do with making sure you’re not about to do anything you’ll regret.”

“Or anything to upsetyou.”

“Maybe, but the picture is bigger than me. It includes you, too.”

He’d softened and so had his words. I remained quiet, contemplating ending the call. He’d said what he needed to say, and I needed a moment of silence.

“I apologize.” He sighed.

The ice around my heart couldn’t handle the heat. It began to melt. Slowly, but surely.

“I apologize for adding fuel to your fire after an unpleasant experience. I can’t apologize for looking out for you, Princess. And, I won’t.”

I listened, unable to form words that would make sense at the moment.

“Say something.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Israel.”

“Say what you’re feeling.”

“Overwhelmed.”

“Understandable. How can I assist in your underwhelming?”

“You can’t.”

I’ve brought this upon myself by not respecting my own boundaries when it comes to men. When it comes to you. I hate it and I love it at the same time.

The words never left my mouth. I rubbed my hand up and down my thigh, trying to settle my spirit and regain control of myself. Israel made that difficult. I was a mess whenever he was involved. I almost didn’t recognize myself most times.

“I can and I will.”

“You know she’s with me?”

“I know now. Well, I’ve known for at least an hour now. It was Malaya that Raquim was keeping an eye on for me. During school hours, he was able to take a break. When he settled at his post near Yara’s place, he assumed baby girl was already inside and tackling the homework she loves to do immediately after school. He didn’t know she was missing until you popped up on Yara’s porch. He heard every word you said.”

“Yeah, well, I meant them, too.”

“Thank you.”

“Is–”

“Her parents have washed their hands with her. Anyone less than perfect is no child of theirs. She only had one sister. She passed away from cancer. I am the only person in her ear demanding change besides our child.

“She needed that. She needed to hear that. So, thank you. That was something you didn’t have to do. So was taking Malaya in, in my absence. You’re stubborn, Princess, but your heart is gold.”

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