Page 129 of Roulette: The Madam

“It feels like the first day of school all over again, but better.”

“It’s the first day of the rest of your life, babe. It is better.Undoubtedly.”

Don’t call him.

I exited the message thread, finally making the decision not to call Israel. I’d toyed with the idea for two and a half hours as Malaya slept peacefully underneath my covers. She was a hard sleeper.

With her new face mask shrinking her pours and silk covering her eyes, she slept like a baby. A happy baby. One who was finally home after months in the NICU being poked with needles and disturbed every two hours with the latex gloves of a nurse who loved a stranger like she loved her own.

Don’t call him.

I sat my phone in the cup holder and took a deep, calming breath. However, it was hard to stay calm with the brewing fire inside of me. In fact, it was nearly impossible.

Nevertheless, I composed myself and exited my SUV. I slammed the door behind me intentionally, hoping to awaken the person on the other side of the door I was headed for.

Upon reaching it, I extended my knuckles and knocked. They burned by the time I pulled them back. It wasn’t until then that I noticed the doorbell next to the doorframe. I pressed it with my index finger.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

I removed my finger for a brief second and then pressed the button again. Five seconds later and I was repeating the same steps. Five seconds after that and I was repeating them again.

At the sound of locks turning, I took two steps backward, waiting to greet the homeowner. A gorgeous, uncomfortably thin woman appeared on the other side of the door. With disheveled hair and tired eyes, she stared out into the darkness where my eyes met hers.

“Yara?”

“Yes. Who’s asking?”

The gentleness of her tone at the indecent hour I’d shown up to her home softened me slightly, but not enough to deter me from delivering the message she needed to receive. Sympathy gathered in my throat, making it hard to swallow the lump it formed.

“Roulette.”

Her brows raised. So did her hands. She smoothed her hair down and stood straighter. Malaya had been vocal about my presence in her life. I wasn’t a stranger standing at Yara’s door. I was a girl she hadn’t put a face to yet.

“Roulette, nice to finally meet you. Malaya has told me so much about you.”

She extended a hand for me to shake, but I refused. This wasn’t a formal introduction. It was a forced one. When she was sober and became the version of her everyone adored, then we could have a formal introduction. That wasn’t happening tonight.

“Which is why I am here. Malaya has told me so much about you and not much of it has been good. Most of it is the shit that would break a fifteen year old’s spirit, which is exactly what you’re doing.

“I’m not here to shake your hand and tell you you’re doing a good job. I’m here to tell you that you’ve lost all your fuckingmarbles if you think I’m going to sit back and let you ruin any chance of mental and emotional stability that child has. Not over my dead body, Yara.

“She’s a good girl with a good heart and we are going to keep it that way. I will not discredit you for the work you’ve done because I’m sure she’s all you. I knew it the moment I heard your voice. But, you’re killing her inside. I can’t let you do that.

“You have exactly sixty days to get your shit together for Malaya or I’m going to force you into in-patient therapy. Not the kind where you get to sit on a nice comfy couch and cry your eyes out. Most people who enter this office never resurfaces. Please don’t try me.

“If you don’t want to detox voluntarily, I have no problem strapping you to a seat and forcing those drugs out of your system myself. I’ve only known your daughter for a week, but it’s that fucking deep with us at this point. Just as it would be with any young girl I encountered who is as brilliant as the one you pushed out of your pussy.

“Israel has pacified you far too long. It’s time you wake the fuck up, because, soon you will lose the pieces of your daughter that matters most. The good things. The sweet things. The brilliant things. Her mind. Her heart. Her love. She’s young but she is not foolish. History is the only reason she’s holding onto hope for you.

“Malaya is at my house and will remain until her father’s return. You will take a leave of absence from work. If you’re not fit to care for your daughter, then you damn sure ain’t fit to care for strangers. I don’t give a fuck how well you do your job. If you can get sober for them motherfuckers, then you can get sober for that baby. She needs you the most.

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