Page 110 of Roulette: The Madam

“That’s what I like about you. But, don’t let that shit get you fucked up. I’m not above sitting your ass down and clipping those wings until you understand that some shit isn’t up for debate. It’s factual. Me being in your world at a larger capacity than you’re allowing is one of those things.”

I inhaled deeply, accepting his words for what they were. The truth. Yes, I’d been scarred. Yes, I’d been betrayed. No, I wasn’t ready for what Israel was presenting to me. And, that didn’t start with Chino and Kiara conceiving a child. It started when I was just a child.

“You’re asking me to unlearn what I’ve known my entire life in a matter of months. Just because–you said so, Israel? It’s selfish and inconsiderate.”

“It is, Princess. I’m not denying that. And, I’ve never been a selfish nigga, but I am now that you’re in my line of vision.”

“Isr–”

“I’m askin– Nah, I’mtellingyou that you will unlearn it, because it wasn’t the lesson to give yourself anyway. Not when I was somewhere in the world wanting someone as unorthodox as you. As liberating as you. As ambitious as you. As free as you.”

He exhaled, deflating his chest.

“Got a nigga feeling like a fucking sucka out here,” he groaned, massaging his temple with his index and thumb.

Humor forced a snigger from my lips. Israel lifted his head, visibly pissed that I found his distraught comical.

“I’m sorry–” I laughed. “I jus–”

His budding smile made me cover my mouth.

“I’m sick of your fine ass already.” He chuckled.

“Then why am I here?”

“’Cause there ain’t anywhere else in the world you’re supposed to be.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Get out of your feelings, Israel. This could be a good thing. This could be a great thing.

“At least you’re handsome when you’re mad.”

“Let’s go,” he fussed.

Serious, again. It’s giving bipolar disorder.

“You owe my sister a body.”

“Excuse me?”

“I wasn’t on a date, Israel. My sister just had a son a few months ago. She called in a favor because my nephew and his father are unwell. She couldn’t leave them. They needed her and she needed me.”

His head tilted as he listened on. Though his feelings were valid, his reaction was not exactly justifiable.

“It was a favor. Fidel was a target. He’s in the organ trade. His death was coming anyway. Authorities are aware of his activities. I doubt they’ll come looking for his murderer. It was one of the force’s own who ordered the hit. I’m almost certain they knew he’d die tonight.”

“That’s why you weren’t in a rush to l–”

“That’s why I wasn’t in a rush to leave.”

“Prince–”

“The point I keep making, whether you’ve gotten it or not, is that I am a person, Israel. I am not an object. No one owns me. No one will ever own me. Having to explain to a man that I was at work and not on a date, while he very much so was, is beneath me. I don’t care to explain my choices to anyone. Not you. Not my family. Nobody.

“Because then I will begin to tailor my life to make good reports when asked about my choices. Approval isn’t something I seek. It never will be. I’m not set up that way. Neither is validation. Or credit. Or a pat on the back when I do something worthy of praise. I want to live, Israel. However I see fit. No more rules. No more limitations. No one else’s feelings to consider.”

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