Page 10 of Only Forever

“About us.”

I swallowed hard. I hadn’t expected this question from Jason. And honestly, I didn’t know how to answer it. I would be lying if I didn’t admit I had been incredibly attracted to him tonight. I couldn’t help but notice the scent of his cologne when he leaned in close to say something to me in the theater, and I couldn’t stop glancing at his hand on the console while he drove, finding even the veins in his hand attractive.

“I don’t know," I said, knowing it was a copout answer. “How doyoufeel?”

I knew it was cowardly to put the question back to him, but I didn’t know what else to say. I was on pins and needles as I waited for him to answer. I started to doubt he was going to reply when the silence continued, but then he finally spoke.

“I never thought we’d get to spend time together like this,” he said quietly, his gaze steady on mine. “It seemed like you always avoided me in the hallways at school, and when you did speak to me, it was nothing more than a hello.” Jason took a deep breath. “I don’t want to waste this chance. This is how I feel.”

Before I could even process what he was saying, he had pulled me towards him, putting the ice cream cup on the dashboard. My breath hitched as he gently cupped the back of my head with one hand, bringing me even closer as he leaned in. My eyes fluttered shut of their own accord, and before I knew it, I felt his soft lips brushing against my mouth. His lips clung to mine as he kissed me, soft and questioning, giving me a chance to pull back. But instead of pulling back, I leaned deeper into the kiss, no thoughts in my mind except enjoying the sensations awakening inside me.

Jason made a sound of approval when I leaned in, increasing the pressure, his other hand on the small of my back. We were as close together as the center console would allow us to be.

Desire strummed through my veins when I felt his tongue caress my lips, seeking entry. I opened my mouth, welcoming the intrusion. His tongue was cold from the ice cream, and I could taste a hint of coffee and cream. I shyly grazed his tongue with my own, and soon they were intertwined, caressing each other with growing desire.

This wasn’t my first kiss, but it was unlike any other kiss I had experienced before. I had gone out on a few dates during high school, and had experienced some lukewarm kisses, but it was nothing like I was experiencing now. My body felt hot from the unfamiliar desire pulsing through me, coupled with an increasing ache inside me. I felt like I was melting, and soon I would be nothing but a puddle.

Jason suddenly broke the kiss off, breathing heavily, his usually brilliant blue eyes looking dark and intense.

“Daphne,” he said, his voice gravelly and deep. He said nothing more, just my name.

It was as if we had been in our own little world during the kiss, but I abruptly became aware of the people outside in the parking lot again. I pulled back, falling back into my seat and glancing around outside, wondering if anyone had seen us. I felt confused. Was this Jason’s way of telling me had feelings for me? Why else would he kiss me?

I looked at him and his gaze felt like it was searing through me. “Jason,” I said, not liking how unsteady my voice sounded. “I think you should take me home.”

Jason was silent as he studied me, and then simply nodded. He grabbed the melted ice cream from the dashboard, as well as my spoon that had fallen on the floor during the kiss, and exited the car to throw them away in a nearby trash can. In his absence, I took a few deep breaths, willing my pulse to slow down and my heart to stop beating so hard.

The drive back to my house was silent as I racked my brain of what to say. I was confused and didn’t know how I felt. Senior year would be over soon and we would be going to different schools. If Jason was interested in pursuing something, would there even be a point? DidIwant to pursue something?

My mind was still awhirl with uncertainties when he pulled into my driveway. Jason put the car in park and turned to me.

“We should talk.”

I knew he was right, but not tonight. I was too confused. I needed to sort out my feelings before we talked.

“Okay,” I agreed, “but can it wait? Not tonight.”

Jason frowned, but he nodded. “Okay, tomorrow then.”

I wanted more time than that, but I would agree to anything at this point to escape the car and his questioning eyes.

“Tomorrow,” I agreed, as I opened the door, wanting to get inside my house as soon as possible. “Thanks for tonight and driving me home.”

Before he could say anything else, I got out of the car, not looking behind me, as I made a concerted effort to not sprint to my front door. Right before I stepped inside, I couldn’t resist one quick glance behind me, and saw him watching me, an inscrutable expression on his face. I gave him a weak wave and went inside, shutting the door behind me.

Chapter Three

I was a mess all night, replaying the kiss over and over again. I couldn’t believe it had actually happened and I wasn’t sure what my feelings were about it. It had been absolutely the best kiss I had ever experienced, but why did it have to happen now, near the end of our senior year when we would soon go our separate ways, and with Jason, of all people? The whole thing felt surreal.

After a restless night, I woke up late in the morning. My mom had gone to the office today, as she did most Saturdays during the busy accounting season. For once, I was relieved she was working on the weekend when I saw Jason’s text that he wanted to come over to talk.

I checked the time and it was almost noon. Jason had texted over an hour ago. I told myself there was no point pushing it off, because I had the feeling that Jason would be persistent in wanting to talk about what happened last night.

I texted him that he could come over at two o’clock, and he texted back immediately confirming the time, as if he had been on his phone, waiting for my response.

I tried to eat something, although my stomach was in knots. I still wasn’t sure what Jason was going to say. His words from last night made it seem like he had feelings for me, as if he had been waiting for this moment between us. But that was hard to believe. From what I could see, he had an active social life and had dated plenty of girls throughout the years. It wasn’t as if he had been pining away for me or anything. So why this sudden confession of feelings?

Then I started to doubt everything. What if last night had just been a fluke? Maybe he had gotten caught up in the moment, and our history together had made him think he had feelings he didn’t really have.

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