Page 57 of Only Forever

“You fucking bitch!” I screamed. I couldn’t take it anymore. Rage propelled me forward, giving me strength despite my weakening body. I lunged forward, crashing into Shelby. She teetered back, losing her balance, and we fell, with me falling on top of her.

I scrabbled for the knife, but Shelby was too fast for me. She got hold of the knife and plunged it into me again, this time in my shoulder. I cried out in pain as she ripped the knife out and I grabbed her arm, my hands slippery with my own blood, but I was too weak from my wounds to have any strength to stop her. I saw the knife raise again, and I waited for the next flash of pain, wondering how long this attack would continue until I lost consciousness. Until I was dead.

Before the knife could make contact with my flesh again, the door to my room burst open, and Jason appeared, like a bloody avenging angel. His gaze took less than a second to assess the situation, and then he lunged towards Shelby, grabbing the knife from her hands.

Shelby shrieked like a wild animal, grabbing for the knife back, but Jason slammed her against the floor, holding the knife up to her throat. He glanced at me, his eyes turning dark at he saw my wounds. He looked back at Shelby, pressing the knife closer against her.

“I should kill you for what you’ve done,” Jason snarled, his face a mask of anger.

“Do it!” Shelby said, laughing maniacally. “I dare you.”

I saw the change in Jason’s expression. He was ready to kill Shelby for everything she had done. But I didn’t want Jason tobecome a murderer like me. Despite every justification, taking someone’s life changed you. I knew that all too well.

“Don’t,” I cried out, putting my hand on Jason’s arm. “Let’s just call the police.”

As if on cue, we heard what sounded like the front door breaking down and voices yelling “police” downstairs. Shelby attempted to get up, but Jason dropped the knife and kept her pinned down with her weight.

I felt like I was in a dream as I watched officers rush into my bedroom and grab Shelby, putting her in handcuffs as she screamed and fought them. Jason held me in his arms, asking if I was okay, and yelling at the officers that I needed medical attention. A part of me recognized the absurdity of that, as Jason sat there with blood down his chest from his own stab wound.

I was in a daze as we were placed in an ambulance and rushed to the hospital. Jason insisted on going in the same ambulance as me, even though he was probably more hurt than I was. In the end, they just let him in my ambulance, because they wanted to get us both to the hospital as fast as possible. I didn’t know if it was from the loss of blood or shock that had me in such a state of stupor, but the only thing that was keeping me grounded was Jason’s hand in mine. I gripped it tightly, like it was my lifeline. We had somehow made it out of this nightmare alive and I would never let him go.

The next few hours were a whirlwind. We were both treated at the hospital, and it was almost a physical pain being separated from him, but I insisted that Jason go and get his own treatment. He had gained consciousness while Shelby had dragged me upstairs, and cut through the ropes binding him with shards of the lamp that Shelby had used against him. So not only did he have a serious stab wound in his chest, but his hands and feet were all cut up.

It turned out, the person who was supposed to be watching the house had finally woken up, and gone up to the house to check to see if everything was alright. Thankfully, he had seen Jason’s unconscious bloody body through a crack in the drapes and had called the police, although he had done nothing beyond that to help. I was just grateful that the police had come before it was too late.

Jason and I were both in the hospital for about a week before we were discharged. During that time, a frantic Chloe came up from Florida to make sure we were okay. She was a godsend because she organized getting the house cleaned after it was deemed no longer a crime scene. Jason’s family came as well, and it was good to see them again. Jason’s mom hugged me for a long time and told me how much she had missed me. I could feel the spirit of my mom in that embrace, and hugged her back fiercely.

Both Jason and Chloe insisted on staying at my house with me after both Jason and I were discharged, and I was glad for their company. Shelby was being detained on attempted murder charges. We had also told the police about what she had told us about two other women Keith had killed, and I was grateful that their families would finally find out the truth to what happened to their loved ones.

I never confessed to the police that I had killed Keith. I considered telling them, but Jason convinced me there was no reason to. He said I had done nothing wrong, and I had put a stop to Keith hurting others. Apparently, Shelby had lost all sense of reality, and nobody believed her ramblings, from her insistence that I was a murderer, to her believing that she was a spy from another country.

I felt like I should confess to have a clear conscience, but admittedly, I didn’t feel guilty for killing Keith. He had gotten what he deserved. I had done it for my mother, and now I knewI had done it for the two other women Keith had murdered as well. I wondered if that made me disturbed in any way, not being regretful for killing a person. But Jason insisted I had only done what was called for. And I believed in his judgement. He had saved me, not only physically, but emotionally and mentally, and I owed him my everything.

Chapter Thirty

Six months later

I ended the zoom session with my therapist and stretched my back before closing my laptop. Our online sessions were therapeutic but draining, as my emotions were laid bare. But we were doing good work, and I was making progress with my agoraphobia. I was now able to leave my house to go to familiar places nearby, like the grocery store or post office. I still got anxiety, but it wasn’t debilitating anymore and I was able to handle it.

I went downstairs and saw Jason at the dining room table, working on his laptop. His face lit up with a grin when he saw me, and he pushed his chair away from the table. He grabbed my arm as I came close and pulled me so I was sitting on his lap.

“I’ve missed you,” he said, nuzzling my neck.

“That tickles,” I laughed, pushing away from him slightly, but not too much. I felt so safe and loved in his arms. And for the first time in a long time, I felt truly happy. I was no longer burdened by my secrets, and nothing was haunting me. I was free to live and love and experience joy and happiness. It was exhilarating.

Shelby was in a mental institution, and probably would be for the rest of her life. I put her, and Keith, in the past and closed those chapters of my life. I chose to only remember my mother, and the love and happy memories we had shared while she was alive.

“Is Chloe coming to town this weekend?” Jason asked.

“No, she’s too busy tying up loose ends,” I said. “Maybe next weekend.”

Chloe frequently came to visit on the weekends, but she was in the midst of a divorce from her husband, and she had a lot ofstuff to take care of before it was finalized. It turned out, Chloe was right, and Gareth didn’t just have an innocent relationship with his co-worker. They were having an affair. He had begged and cried for forgiveness, but Chloe was done. When the divorce was finalized, she was planning on moving back to Hyattsville to figure out what her next steps would be. She said Hyattsville still felt like home. I was so sad for her about the dissolution of her marriage, but was so proud of her for standing up for herself.

“She thinks she’ll be moving back here in about two months,” I continued. “She’s quitting her job at her real estate agency there, and will work for a local one here.”

“It’ll be nice for you to have her around more often,” Jason said, smiling at me gently. “Before we make our big move.”

Jason’s company had offered to move him to their Colorado office, because he had told them he was done traveling and wanted to stay in one place for work. He had made it clear to them that he wasn’t sure when he’d be able to move there, and that until he was ready, he would have to work remotely. Thankfully, they apparently valued him as an employee because they agreed.

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