Page 49 of Only Forever

Before I could think of any more possible explanations, I heard a creak and the sound of something lightly dragging across the floor. There was no way the house was just making sounds. Someone was upstairs. My mind immediately went to the letter writer. They had clearly threatened an impending death for me. Were they here to see it through?

I had to get out of here, before whoever it was realized I knew someone was in the house. As quietly as possible, I made my way out of the bathroom and into the hallway. I was afraid to breathe, afraid to make any noise to alert them I was on the move. It was dark in the hallway, and I was glad for the cloak of darkness to hide me. But the lights in the kitchen and living room were on, and if they came downstairs while I was trying to leave, there would be no hiding.

I hesitated on the brink of stepping into the living room and into the light. I so badly wanted to turn off the lights to hide myself, but I knew it was a stupid move and could possibly alert whoever was upstairs.

I steadied my nerves and crept forward. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest and I was sure that the pounding could be heard from outside my body. I tried to breathe shallowly, inching towards the kitchen. I had to make it into the kitchen, where the back door was located. That was my best bet. If I tried to make it to the front door, they would see me right away if they came downstairs.

I could feel myself trembling as I made it to the kitchen. I gripped the countertop, and then continued to walk quietly and cautiously to the back door. I thanked God that I had gotten used to going out to the backyard with Jason, and I knew I could exit with no problem. The real test would be whether I would be ableto make it outside my fence, outside the perimeter of my house. I would deal with it when I actually got to that point.

The cold metal of the doorknob was a welcome feeling as I gripped it. I had to make it out of this house and out of the backyard. I couldn’t face whoever was upstairs. My life depended on it.

I opened the door as slowly as possible. The backdoor always made a slight creak when it opened, and my heart was in my throat at the sound. But there was no rushing of footsteps to signal that it had been heard. The outside air hit me. It was mid-June but the night air was cool and a welcome feeling. I was thankful that none of the lights in the backyard were on. Whoever was upstairs wouldn’t see me creeping through my yard. Assuming they were still upstairs. I shuddered at the thought of them downstairs, close to me, and I instinctively glanced back. I was relieved to see an empty kitchen behind me. I quietly closed the back door, relieved that it only creaked when it was opened, and not closed. I wanted as many barriers in between us as possible

I quickened my pace in the backyard, since the grass muffled my footsteps. Once I made it to the fence door, I grabbed the latch to unlock it. But instead of feeling relief that I was about to escape, my heart started hammering even faster in terror. My head was telling me to leave, to open the latch and let myself out. But my body wouldn’t cooperate. My feet felt glued to the ground and my hands wouldn’t move. Wouldn’t make the motions necessary to unlatch the door and open it.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I had to do this. I was strong enough to do this.

Open the damn door, I said to myself internally.Open the door and walk out. This is not the time to be scared and weak. Open the door!

My hand was trembling, but it slowly followed my command. I unlatched the door and slowly swung it open. I told my body to take a step forward. I had come this far, and I could do it.

I raised one foot and took a step across the boundary of my yard. Before I could take another step, the world pivoted and it felt like I was in a bottle being tipped over. I fell to the ground, feeling dizzy and unbalanced, like the world was tilting on its axis.

I propped my hands on the ground, feeling the cold grass press against my palms. I was so tired of being weak and fearful. I couldn’t even escape when I was in danger. What was wrong with me? How had fear debilitated me so much?

I pressed my eyes shut and forced myself to take deep breaths. I wanted to cry out of frustration, but I tried to calm myself. Hating myself in this moment would do nothing to help me.

I opened my eyes and told myself to stand up. I gripped the grass, grounding myself in reality, and then slowly stood, holding the side of the fence to help prop myself up. Before I could move any further, I heard the creak of the backdoor opening behind me.

Adrenaline rushed through me, and I stumbled through the fence door, afraid to look behind me. I felt like I was being chased by a monster, but as fast as I wanted to run, my feet felt like they were in cement blocks. My body was still fighting me, but my fear propelled me clumsily forward. I could swear that I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn’t want to waste a second to look back.

I had made it past my front lawn and to the sidewalk when I tripped, my knees painfully smashing against the pavement. I swallowed a cry of pain and scrambled to get up, but my limbs were getting tangled. I knew they were right behind me. Any moment, I would feel someone grab me and drag me back.

I jumped at the sound of a bark, and suddenly my view was obstructed by fur. A golden retriever’s gentle face was right in front of me. My eyes followed the dog’s leash to the concerned face of a man standing on the sidewalk.

“Are you okay?” the man asked, looking worried. I looked behind me, and just saw my house. Nobody was in pursuit of me. Whoever it was, was gone.

The golden retriever sniffed in my direction, and then licked my face. I burst into tears and hugged the dog, crying into his fur. A mixture of relief and sorrow went through me. I was okay now, but what about next time?

Chapter Twenty-Six

The poor man walking his dog was bewildered by my outburst of emotion. Thankfully, the dog seemed to understand I was in distress, and nuzzled me. I was able to stand up, and reassured the man that I was fine, but asked if he could stay in front of my house while I checked inside to make sure no one was there. He started to insist that we should call the police and that I shouldn’t go back inside if I thought an intruder could be in there. I knew he was right, but the last thing I wanted to do was get the police involved. There would be too many questions, and I couldn’t tell them about the notes since it would reveal what I had done to Keith.

My terror had propelled me outside, but now that the adrenaline was gone, I felt a desperate need to get back inside my house as soon as possible. Far from curing my agoraphobia, being outside reinforced my fear that it was unsafe. Whoever had broken into my house had come from the outside somehow. I just needed to make sure my house was impenetrable.

Ignoring the man’s protests about calling the police, I went back into my house. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and checked every room in the house, making sure every window and door was locked. My heart sank when I saw not only was the window in the guest room unlocked, it was ajar and the screen door had been ripped open.

I quickly closed the window and locked it. Chloe must have left it unlocked by accident when she came to visit. At least now I knew how the intruder had gotten into my house.

I checked every nook and cranny in the house, including under the bed and in the closets. I felt pretty confident that whoever had been in my house was gone, since I had heard them open the back door and footsteps had been pursuing me. When I was done checking, I opened the front door and saw thatthe man was still in front of the house, his dog sitting patiently beside him.

“Thanks so much for waiting,” I called out, grateful for his presence. “The coast is clear.”

The man had a concerned look on his face, but he just nodded and continued on his walk, his dog trotting next to him. I closed the door and locked it, making sure to engage the deadbolt. I collapsed onto the couch, my body exhausted from the adrenaline and fear. Now that the immediate danger was gone, all I could think about was how long the intruder had been in my house without me knowing. It was terrifying to think how long they could have been in my house with me being none the wiser. To think they had been watching the house so closely that they noticed Chloe unlocking the window was frightening.

As my thoughts were racing, my phone rang. I looked down and saw it was Jason. I considered not answering it, because I wasn’t sure if I could sound normal on the phone, but he would probably worry if I didn’t.

“Hi, Jason,” I said, trying to sound as natural as possible.

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