Page 48 of Only Forever

“Already?” I squeaked. But soon my protests were swallowed as he continued to move his hand, and I quickly learned it definitely wasn’t too soon for another round.

Chapter Twenty-Five

It was hard to wake up on Monday morning, one of the reasons being that Jason had slept over, and it was almost impossible to drag myself out of the warm cocoon we had made ourselves. It was the first time he had slept over, and I had forgotten how safe and content I felt waking up in his arms. It was doubly hard getting out of bed this morning because Jason would be out of town for a few days for work.

I checked the time and saw it was already almost nine o’clock. I poked Jason in the shoulder. “Hey, don’t you have to get up? It’s already nine o’clock. You said you needed to be on the road by nine-thirty.”

Jason groaned and tightened his arm around me, pulling me closer. “Not yet. Five more minutes.”

It was tempting to melt into his embrace, but instead I pulled away and sat up. Jason made a sound of protest and squinted at me. His hair was adorably tousled, and he still looked half-asleep.

“You said you needed to stop at home to pack,” I said firmly, deciding to be the responsible one this morning. “Come on. I’ll make you some breakfast before you go.”

Despite his protests, Jason got up willingly. I made him a quick breakfast of eggs and toast, with piping hot coffee.

“You make the best coffee,” Jason said approvingly, taking a sip. “I’m going to have to start coming over every morning for it.”

I laughed, doubtful at his appreciation. Jason had a habit of declaring everything I made the best. Either he was biased or his tastebuds were malfunctioning.

“We’ll see,” I said, taking a sip of my own coffee before digging into my own breakfast.

“I wish I didn’t have to travel,” Jason said, sighing. HIs expression brightened. “Do you want to come with me? It’s onlya three hour drive away. There’s supposed to be a lot of antique shops in the neighboring town. You could explore while I’m in meetings and we could have dinner together at night.”

My heart dropped at his suggestion. Jason was usually good at remembering that I never left the house, but every now and then he would forget. I didn’t blame him. It wasn’t normal to always be holed up at home.

His expression suddenly shifted, and he looked regretful. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want him feeling bad about it. And I definitely didn’t want to talk about me not leaving the house, even though I knew at a certain point, it would be an unavoidable discussion. I didn’t know how long this relationship could sustain itself with my inability to leave the house. I had been trying to think about possible solutions, and tried to give consideration to the idea of doing online counseling to help myself. But just the thought of taking the first step of trying to cure my agoraphobia made my heart race.

“It’s okay,” I said, forcing a smile. I made a show of checking the time. “Not to kick you out, but you should really head out now if you want to stay on schedule.”

After Jason left, but not before giving me multiple kisses, and promising to call me later, I closed the door behind him with a sigh. He would only be gone until Thursday, but it already felt empty without him.

Fortunately, I was on a new project at work and it kept me busy for most of the day. Jason called as I was heating up a frozen dinner, and we talked for a while. It felt good to hear his voice, and I fell asleep that night still missing him, but feeling content after talking to him.

I woke up the next day feeling positive, and I was again busy with work. Jason had said he would call again at night, so I had that to look forward to as the day progressed. I workeduntil after dinnertime, and was relieved when I finally logged out for the day. I wasn’t hungry, but I could hear Jason’s voice admonishing me to eat something. I knew Jason wouldn’t call me until later, because he had a work dinner tonight. I popped a frozen dinner in the microwave, and then went to get my mail.

The microwave beeped to signal time was up as I was shuffling through my mail. It was mostly bills and junk, but my blood ran cold when I saw an envelope with no return address. I had almost been able to forget about the letters I had received since I hadn’t gotten one in a while, but as I stared at the letter in my shaking hand, I had no doubt it was from the same person.

Trembling, I opened the envelope, and took a deep breath before I unfolded the letter inside.

You’re disgusting. Do you think you deserve a happy life after what you’ve done? You’re a whore who opens her legs to anyone. I wonder what your friend and boytoy would think if they knew you were a murderer. But maybe you’ll be dead before they ever find out.

I felt nauseous and I was sure I was going to throw up. I clutched the letter in my hand and leaned against the kitchen counter. My heart was beating rapidly and there was a buzzing in my ears. I was being watched. There was no way I wasn’t being watched with what the letter said. I was being watched and judged by someone who somehow knew what I had done to Keith.

I quickly grabbed my phone sitting on the counter next to me, just to make sure I hadn’t missed anyone at my door today. I knew I wouldn’t find anyone besides the mailman, since the letter had been postmarked and not dropped into mymailbox, but I needed to check anyway. I was right. No one had approached my door except for the mailman. I grabbed the envelope and saw that it had again been sent from my zip code. Of course it had been, because whoever had sent it was watching me.

I felt frozen in fear. My first instinct was to call Jason, but he was three hours away. What could he do? Besides, how could I tell him without revealing the truth?

I told myself to calm down and took a few deep breaths. I was always careful about making sure every window, as well as the front and back door, was always locked.

I usually kept all the curtains closed, but my heart dropped when I saw the curtains in the living room had been parted. Jason had probably done so to get some sunlight in, but this was probably how the person who sent the letter had seen everything. I was sure they had seen Jason and I have sex by what the letter said. I hadn’t noticed the curtains being open since I was too wrapped up in what we were doing, but anyone looking through the window could see plain as day what was happening inside.

Instead of just being nauseous this time, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I felt violated and scared. I had avoided the outside world because of my overwhelming fear, but now I felt unsafe in my own house.

I leaned on the sink and rinsed out my mouth and washed my hands, closing my eyes and trying to take deep breaths to slow my beating heart. I needed to think clearly, and not let fear overtake me. I needed to decide what to do.

Suddenly, I heard a soft thud that sounded like it came from above me. A chill went up my spine, and I froze. Blood rushed through my ears, and I gripped the side of the sink tightly, trying to anchor myself to reality. Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe something had fallen over upstairs. I knew that was probablyunlikely, but my brain was scrambling to think of a logical reason for the sound.

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