Page 29 of Only Forever

I leaned back and closed my eyes, feeling utterly relaxed. It was a hot day but the breeze made it pleasant. Jason’s playlist was full of slow, easy songs that lulled me into a daydream state.

My reverie was abruptly disrupted when the music suddenly stopped, replaced with the ring of an incoming call. I glanced at the phone on the table, and was surprised to see a number I recognized. What was Shelby doing calling Jason?

Jason’s phone kept ringing, and I wrinkled my brow. Should I pick it up? How did Shelby even have Jason’s number? I wondered if Shelby had been trying to get in contact with me, and couldn’t, so was calling Jason instead. I checked my phone to make sure I hadn’t missed any calls from Shelby, but my notifications were empty.

I was hesitant to pick up the call because it didn’t feel right answering someone else’s phone, but at the last minute, I figured neither Jason nor Shelby would care.

I picked up the call right before it went to voicemail, but before I could say anything, Shelby spoke.

“Jason, don’t hang up.”

My breath caught. What was happening? I stayed silent, because I didn’t want Shelby to realize that it wasn’t Jason. I wanted to hear what she had to say.

“We need to talk. I know you don’t want Daphne to find out about us, but I need to tell her the truth. She deserves to know. I can’t lie to her anymore.”

I froze, my whole world crashing to the ground. I had never, in a million years, anticipated anything like this. I felt like I had been stabbed in the heart and I could feel myself starting to shake. Shelby, Jason and I had often hung out as a trio, but they had never been anything more than friendly. I had never once suspected anything between them. But I couldn’t deny what Shelby’s words meant.

I took a deep shaky breath. I couldn’t stay silent anymore. I was surprised my voice was as composed as it was when I spoke, because I felt like screaming.

“What are you talking about? What’s going on between you two?” I was trembling, and my hand was gripping my knee, nails digging in, trying to ground myself in a world that had suddenly gone upside down.

“Daphne.” Shelby’s voice was a mixture of shocked and scared. “Wh…what are you doing answering Jason’s phone?”

“Are you serious?” I spat out. “That’s what you have to say to me right now?”

“Daphne, I’m so sorry.” Shelby started to cry, but that just added salt to my wound. How dare she act upset?

“Tell me what you’re talking about,” I bit out between gritted teeth. If Shelby had been standing in front of me, I would’ve have gotten violent at this point.

“We didn’t mean for anything to happen between us,” Shelby answered, her voice shaky. “We just ran into each other one day at school, a couple of weeks before spring break, when you were already gone for the day, and Jason gave me a ride home because I had taken the bus to school that day.” Shelby hesitated before continuing. “It was raining really hard, so we parked for a bit for the rain to let up, and then before I knew it, we were kissing.”

A knife straight through my heart couldn’t have hurt more than Shelby’s words. This couldn’t be real. This had to be a nightmare. The Jason I knew would never do this to me. But the Shelby I knew wouldn’t do this to me either, and here she was, admitting to it. We had gotten so close during college. I considered her my best friend along with Chloe.

“Did it go beyond a kiss?” I asked, my throat thickening with unshed tears.

“Daphne, I’m so sorry.” Shelby was sobbing now. “We weren’t thinking. I don’t know how it happened.”

“Did it go beyond that?” I asked again, but this time I was screeching. “Just tell me what happened!”

“We had sex,” Shelby whispered.

This couldn’t be happening. I wanted to wail with grief and anger. But first I wanted to know everything. Ineededto know everything.

“Was that the only time?” I couldn’t believe I had to ask this question. My life, as I knew it, was over.

“We had sex two other times after spring break,” Shelby admitted, her voice barely audible. “Each time, we swore it wouldn’t happen again, but it was like we couldn’t help ourselves. After the third time, we promised it wouldn’t happen again. The guilt was eating me up inside, but Jason said there was no reason to tell you. That it would be selfish to tell you, because all it would do is hurt you, because we weren’t going to do anything anymore.” Shelby took a deep shaking breath. “ButI felt like you deserved the truth. I didn’t want to lie to you anymore.”

“What Ideserveis better than you two pieces of shit,” I hissed. “Don’t you ever contact me again. You’re dead to me.”

I hung up the phone, shaking. I felt like I was going to throw up.How?How could this be true? How could Jason have done this to me? And not just once, butthreetimes. With my best friend. But I couldn’t deny it. Shelby had thought I was Jason when she started talking. I wondered if I would have ever found out the truth if I hadn’t answered Jason’s phone.

I wanted to sob when I thought about Jason telling me he was a virgin that night we were together for the first time. That had been a straight-up lie. He had been with Shelby before me. And after me.

What else was a lie? Certainly him telling me he loved me. He couldn’t love me and do this to me.

I wanted to scream and cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. The grief was too overwhelming for tears. My whole body felt like it was going to shatter into pieces.

I forced myself to take deep breaths. I wouldn’t let myself look like a fool in front of Jason. He didn’t deserve to see my vulnerability. A sharp, scathing anger was starting to outpace my agonizing hurt. Pain was flowing through every vein of my body, but I forced it under control. My pride wouldn’t allow Jason to see how much he had hurt me.

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