Page 52 of Only Forever

Jason frowned, but straightened and let me have some space while I opened the letter. My hands, which I had tried so hard to make steady as I opened the letter, started shaking violently as I read the letter.

We were so close to meeting. I was so close to showing you what happens to sinners. You won’t get away with what you did. You’re a murderer and you’re going to pay. A knife won’t protect you when I get my hands on you.

P.S. You should really tell your friends to not leave windows unlocked when they visit.

Terror clutched me. An uncontrollable tremor went through me, and I felt hysteria start to rise. I had already been sure that the intruder was the letter-writer, but having it confirmed was terrifying. The fact that they referenced the knife I had been clutching when I had gone through the house to make sure they were gone, showed that even though they had fled, they had still been close, watching me.

As these thoughts were whizzing through my head, I was oblivious to Jason taking the letter out of my hands and reading it. That is, until I heard his harsh utterance.

“What thefuckis this?” Jason looked up from the letter in disbelief. “This isn’t some prank letter from a kid.”

I tried to form a sentence to try to explain, to tell some half-truth that Jason would believe, but my brain refused to work. I was in a state of shock and horror, and was in no way able to explain the letter away.

Jason grabbed my arm, almost trying to shake me out of my stupor. ”What’s going on?Tellme.”

“I can’t,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “I can’t without you hating me.”

“Daphne,” Jason said gently. “I could never hate you. Please, tell me what’s happening. Let me help you.”

It was over. There was no point in trying to lie anymore. Jason wouldn’t accept anything but the truth. And I was tired of lying. Of putting up this facade, and pretending I was just a victim.

My voice was shaking as I started to speak, my voice quiet but firm. If I was going to tell Jason everything, I didn’t want him to misunderstand anything. He deserved to know what kind of person I was. A murderer with no repentance.

“I had been taking a long nap when a loud sound woke me up,” I said, my mind taking me back to that horrible night. “I went downstairs to see what it was, and that’s when I saw Keith standing over my mother.” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing. “There was so much blood. It was everywhere. My mother was lying on the floor, dead, and Keith was standing over her with a knife in his hand.” I shuddered, the memory sickening me.

“At first, Keith pretended like he didn’t know what had happened. But then he revealed the monster he was. Hesmiled.That fucking asshole smiled after killing my mom.” Tearsescaped and coursed down my cheeks. Jason had paled, and he gripped my arms as I spoke, but I was oblivious to him. All I could see in my mind was my mother’s lifeless body and Keith’s evil smile.

“He told me he would get away with it,” I rasped, my throat clogged with tears. “He said he would pretend like he had a mental break, and he would get off with an insanity plea.” I took a long shuddering breath. “Then he attacked me. I pushed him away, and he fell to the floor, hitting his head and becoming unconscious.”

Jason’s grip on me tightened, but he didn’t say anything. I continued, bracing myself for the part that would change his view on me forever.

“I called 911. But as I explained what had happened, something in me broke. This psychopath had grinned after killing my mom, and had absolutely no remorse. To this day, I have no idea why he did it. I don’t know if he had just been a monster all that time, and had been hiding it. I was afraid that he would get away with it. He would get away with killing my mother.”

My voice dropped. “So I told the 911 operator that Keith had been stabbed, too. And after I hung up the phone, I went over to his unconscious body, and placed the knife in his hand. Then I stabbed him, making it look like he had stabbed himself. And then he was dead.”

I felt Jason freeze when I got to the part where I admitted to killing Keith. I looked up, fully expecting to see disgust on his face. He looked shaken, but his eyes were fierce with anger. I assumed that anger was towards me.

“The police believed that it was a murder-suicide,” I whispered, my head dropping. “I kept waiting to be found out, for them to figure out I had killed Keith, but they never did. I spent the next three years inside my house, scared of living. Andthen, a few weeks ago, I started getting these anonymous notes. Somehow, someone knows what I did. I don’t know how. There were no witnesses and I never told anyone, not even Chloe.”

“Christ, Daphne.” Jason pulled me towards him, his arms tight around me. “I’m so sorry you went through this. I’m so sorry for everything that happened, for everything you’ve been through. For me not being there for you.”

I pushed back at him, making space to look up at him. “Did you hear what I said? IkilledKeith.”

Jason’s eyes were intense with anger. “That asshole deserved to die. For killing your mother. For attacking you.” Jason’s expression turned sorrowful. “I should have been there to protect both you and your mother.”

I looked at him in disbelief. “Jason, I’m a murderer. I killed someone.”

“You did nothing wrong. I’m just sorry you had to be the one who had to do it. “ Jason looked anguished. “Fuck.I should have been there.”

Jason cupped my face in his hands softly, his eyes dark and grief-stricken. “I’m so sorry, Daphne. I’m so sorry.”

Jason’s words opened the dam, and the silent tears turned into deep, shuddering sobs. Jason held me throughout it all, soothingly stroking my back. My tears were a mixture of grief over reliving what had happened, and relief that Jason wasn't disgusted with me. That he thought I had done the right thing. Because one of the things that had bothered me the most over what I had done, was the sure knowledge that I would do it again. Keith had killed my mother with no remorse. So I had done the same with him. But it had made me wonder if there was something wrong with me, that I was able to kill a person without remorse. But Jason’s reaction made me feel like maybe I wasn’t broken.

“How many letters have you gotten?” Jason asked gently when my sobs had quieted.

I hesitated before answering. “This will be the fourth one.”

Jason took a deep breath. “Daphne, you should have told me before.” He stopped himself before he could lecture me anymore. “I understand why you didn’t, though. Can I see the rest of the letters?”

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