Page 46 of The Assignment: Room 3

“You deserve everything good in this life, darling. What is ‘normal’ anyway? This is a bump in the road of your life. When the time is right, you and I will move into a lovely home with Gracie. She’s a happy little girl, Celest. That is all that matters right now. She feels safe, secure, and loved beyond measure.”

“I just want to give her the world.” I let her hold me for the longest time, absorbing her strength as best I can. Gracie can’t see me like this.

“Thanks, Mom. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, we’re together now. You, me, and Gracie.”

“I’m going to go check on her.” I need to see my sleeping little angel. Everything is better when I look at her face. There’s so much of her dad in her. She has his eyes, and her lips have the same perfect cupid’s bow. It can be hard sometimes, seeing him reflected in the person I love more than anything else is this world.

I creep into her room and perch on the side of her bed, moving her tight curls off her face. She is truly angelic when she sleeps. Her cute little button nose scrunches as I move her hair, so I ease back, not wanting to wake her.

My eyes fill with tears as I leave her to her sweet dreams and head to my room to grab some pajamas before locking myself in the bathroom. Filling the tub, the rushing water drowns out my sobs.

Tonight was overwhelming. Genevieve. The club. Flex. Punishment. Pleasure.

I strip out of my clothes and stand in front of the full-length mirror. I look gaunt. Run down. My hip bones are jutting out more than they should, and my collarbone is protruding. What does Flex see in me?

I turn to see my ass, bright red with lines from the cat o’ nine tails. It’s been too long since I last saw these marks, and as I gaze over my shoulder, a small smile of satisfaction spreads across my face. It’s going to sting when I slide into the tub, but I want it.I need it.

As I step into the water, it’s almost too hot to handle, but I relish the discomfort. Lowering myself in, my ass stings as I sit, letting the water envelop me. I welcome the pain. It anchors me to the life I’ve been striving for since the moment I found out I was pregnant withGracie. Iwillget her into a new home in a safe neighborhood where she can learn to ride a bike and play outside with friends.

I slide down until my face is immersed underwater, listening to my breathing, magnified by the silence. I replay the night, acutely aware of the pain from my punishment. I’m overwhelmed.

When I come up for air, I break down as emotion racks my body. I’ve been so starved for affection lately. I have to clasp my hand over my mouth to stop myself from crying out.

The bubbles are long gone, and the temperature of the water is as cold as my submissive heart. My fingers prune, and my hair is stuck to my back as I emerge from the water. I look and feel like a drowned rat—the vermin I’ve convinced myself I am.

I wrap myself in a soft, virginal white bath towel, pulling it tight around me as if it could hold the broken pieces of me together. I quickly pad down the hallway to my room, eagernotto see my mom. I’ve shown enough weakness for one night, and as I slip inside and drop the towel, I shrug into my favorite sweats, my ass smarting from punishment tonight.

As I throw back the covers on my bed, I grab my phone before crawling in and pulling the comforter around me like a cocoon. I would love nothing more right now than to have the proper aftercare, but I don’t have that luxury. Flex can’t be a part of my world. Myrealfake life. The one I’m afraid to share with anyone. I’ve been hurt before, and I won’t let it happen again.

Fuck, even I don’t know who I am anymore.

Chapter 9

FLEX

Celest has me in knots. I know I said friends with benefits and no strings attached, but by the very nature of our lifestyle, I assumed that included aftercare. Tonight is the first time in all my years as a Dom that I haven’t provided full aftercare to the submissive I bedded.Shit. We didn’t even fuck.

Maybe I was wrong, and it can’t be as simple as I thought it could. She used her safeword to avoid talking to me—her fucking safeword.I pride myself on being able to read people, but Celest is like a vault.

The ride back to my penthouse was glaringly silent. Russell has seen and heard far worse than he did tonight, but my lack of jovial banter tells him everything he needs to know. By the time I reach my place, the last thing I want is to be alone with my thoughts.

As I twist the lock, my phone buzzes in my pocket. Tossing my keys on the nearest surface, I pull out my phone, surprised to see Celest’s name pop up.

Celest Monroe: I’m sorry.

Me: For what?

I’m not trying to be a dick. I genuinely want to know why she’s apologizing to me.

Celest Monroe: I didn’t want to turn you away.

Me: Then why did you?

Celest Monroe: It’s complicated.

Me: You don’t owe me an explanation, pet.

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