Page 144 of The Assignment: Room 3

“You weren’t supposed to be there, Mom. It was my fault that you were in the building. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” My knees begin to buckle, but my dad steadies me, pulling me tight against his chest.

“Felix, you are our son, and we love you unconditionally. You can’t keep carrying around this survivor’s guilt. You’ve served your country in our honor. You’re a good man, and you found love. That’s all we ever wanted for you. To find someone who loves you as much as we do.”

Celest.

Gracie.

“I almost got her and her daughter killed. I let my guard down and lost sight of the target. I was supposed to keep them safe.”

“You did. You saved both of them. Gracie still has her mother because of you. And you want to be her daddy.”

Tears well in my eyes because I know they’re speaking the truth. I wanted that future with Celest and Gracie. “I love her as if she were my own.”

“Youareher daddy, Felix. It was always going to be you.”

“And now I’m depriving her of one.”

My mom rests her hand over mine. “You still have work to do, Felix. It’s not your time.”

“But…”

“We love you, my sweet boy. You are loved. You are worthy, and you are so brave. Don’t let this define you.”

I grasp her hand, but the tighter I grip, the more she slips away. Before my eyes, they disappear, and I lose them all over again.

Left alone in the dark, I cry out for help as unimaginable pain floods my body. I’m screaming, but there’s no sound. I’m locked in my mind with no way out.

“Message number one.”

“Felix, my sweet, sweet boy. I wish I knew when I hugged you this morning that it would be the last time. I would have held you longer, squeezed you tighter, and told you that you are the greatest achievement of my lifetime. I know you don’t like anyone to know you’ve got a sensitive side but never be afraid to show it with the right girl when she comes along. I hate that your major milestones will always be punctuated with our absence, but we will always be in your heart. So, if you find yourself struggling in the quiet moments, look inward and know that every fiber of your being is loved beyond measure in this life and the next. Don’t let the loss define you.”

“You need to wake up, Flex. Your girls are struggling.” Dalton’s voice hangs in the air, a tangible thread to hold onto. “I’m struggling. You’re my brother and the guy I would go to for advice when shit hits the fan. You hit the fan, Flex, and I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. We’re supporting Helena and Gracie as best we can. Fuck, I don’t even know how much you knew going into that house. Did you know her name wasn’t Celest? Regardless… you love her, and that’s enough for all of us.”

I’m tugging on that thread, trying to follow it back.

“Pierce said you can probably hear us, but if you breathe a word to anyone that I was in here gushing about how much I miss you, I’ll deny it. I’m being selfish, bro. After losing Mom, I can’t takeanother loss. Not you, and not like this. Some motherfucking, small-time drug lord piece of shit. No way. You’re Flex Warren Navarro. You were a goddamn Navy SEAL. He can’t take you out.”

The strings of my life are in every voice that dips in and out of my consciousness. Dalton. Celest. Ryder.

Helena.

“Message number two.”

“Felix, I’m so sorry I won’t be there to teach you how to shave or drive, but I know you’ll grow into a fine young man. This isn’t something we ever could have imagined, but we will hold out hope until the very last second that we can make it back to you.

“There are a few things I need you to know. I love you, son. The happiest day of my life was the day you were born. I understood what unconditional love meant. Don’t let grief turn you into someone you’re not. You are already becoming a good young man. Continue to be true to yourself.

“When you find someone who loves you for exactly who you are, flaws and all, marry her. Put down roots, and don’t be afraid to love. I know you have a journey ahead of you, dealing with this at such a young age, but you are strong. Be a leader, not a follower.

“Protect those you love, and don’t live with regret. It just weighs you down. Be fierce in your pursuit of happiness. I love you so much, Felix.”

“It’s been four weeks since you died in front of me, Master. Twenty-eight days since you saved my life. There are so many things I want to say, but I can’t. Not until you come back to me.”

Her voice is strained, exhaustion clear in the slow drawl of every syllable.

“Gracie drew you a picture. She asked me to help her write your name on it.Daddy.It’s of you and your ‘little bear.’ I need you to come back to us, Flex. As a daddy, as my Dom, and the love of my life. Please, if you can hear me…”

Her voice fades out, replaced with machines beeping and the distant sound of a wall clock ticking. There’s a rhythmic beat. In. Out. Up. Down. Breathe in. Breathe out.

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