Page 135 of The Assignment: Room 3

“Can she even hear me?”

“Yes. There’s no evidence that someone in a catatonic state cannot hear their loved ones. In fact, it’s the opposite. Keep talking to her.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

I want to soothe my mom—to tell her I’m still in here—but I can’t. My body doesn’t respond to my thoughts. I need to get back for Gracie’s sake, but I don’t know how. The image of her sperm donor, bastard father, dead on the floor with what’s left of his face, is burned into my memory. Will she hate me when she’s older and may want to know where she came from?

I never wanted her to come face-to-face with the man whose eyes she shares, but it’s always been in the back of my mind. The choice she was supposed to have isn’t a possibility anymore. The only thing worse than fearing Gracie will hate me one day for the father she never knew is the knowledge that I’m the reason she won’t have the daddyshechose.

The police have been showing up periodically, wanting answers about what happened that night. I’m not even sure how long ago it was. I fall in and out of sleep, replaying my living nightmare over and over again.

When the doctor leaves, my mom takes my hand, entreating me to come back to her—to both of them.

“I know you’re in there, darling. You’ve been through more than anyone should ever have to deal with, but Gracie needs you. Please, fight to come back to us.”

I want to tell herI’m doing my bestorI can’t go on knowing I’m the reason Flex is dead.But I can’t. I’m numb. I have to be.

“Freya is going to come up today. She’s been looking after Gracie while I’ve been here with you. I haven’t brought her in because I didn’t think you would want her to see you this way.”

Her voice becomes nothing more than a soft plea. A whisper. Or maybe a prayer.

“I don’t know what to do, darling. What’s for the best? Would hearing her voice bring you back to us?”

I don’t want her to see me like this. I don’t want tobelike this. The words are right there—my plea to keep my baby girl from seeing her broken momma. I drift in and out of sleep, tuning everything out.

The only thought in my mind is Flex. The moments we’ll never have together. The brothers and sisters we would have given Gracie. The life we wanted to build. I finally found someone who loved me, even in his final moments when he knew my past was the reason he’d lose his future.

“Has she spoken at all?” Freya’s voice cuts through the chaos of my mind.

“Not yet.” Naddie is here with me too.

“Nora was asking me if she should bring Gracie up here, but I don’t know what to tell her. I think it would be good for Celest…” My best friend stutters, crushed by my betrayal like everyone else. “Helena. I need to get used to using her real name. I’m not sure it would be good for Gracie to see her mom with so many cuts and bruises, unable to talk.”

“It’s a lot for a three-year-old.” Naddie’s voice dips in and out, but I struggle to track the conversation. “Did you know she had a child?”

“Yes, but she wanted to keep her life outside the club separate. I always thought it was a little odd, but now it makes sense. She was running from an abusive relationship.”

“I can’t imagine how much she’s been through, and she’s still such a sweet, kindhearted person. She didn’t let it harden her.”

Their voices become distant as I let the darkness swallow me. It’s too painful to do anything else, except sleep doesn’t provide any peace. I relive Flex’s final moments every time.

“Make sure Gracie knows I wanted to stay. I wanted to be her daddy.”

“I asked Pierce to pull some strings. I don’t know if it will help, but it’s worth a try.” Freya is such a good friend. I lied to her for years, and she’s still here by my side, trying to help me.

“At this point, we’ve got nothing to lose. Dalton is beside himself. This is all taking such a toll on him. I’m really worried.” My actions have changed Dalton and Naddie’s lives in ways I can never fix. The guilt drags me under once more.

“I’m going to tell you this once, and I’m going to be pretty fucking clear about it. She’s mine. So, if you don’t put the gun down, I’m going to do whatever is necessary to ensure her safety and our daughter’s.”

“Gracie is struggling without you, darling. Come back to us.” My mom’s voice is strained. I want to make it better for her. I miss my daughter, but the thought of looking her in the eye and telling her Flex is gone is more than I can bear.

“We need you. Me. Gracie. Your friends. Flex.”

What?

I fight against my thoughts, sure I must have misheard her, but I can’t form the words.

“I miss her laugh.” If Freya is here with my mom, who has Gracie? Where’s my daughter?

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