Page 117 of The Assignment: Room 3

“I hope Gracie settles down at bedtime. She’s been so clingy with you the past few days. I don’t like that she’s out of her routine.”

We sit out in the bar, nursing our drinks, taking a minute to catch up and take a breath. Things are pretty intense with us right now. “So, is there anything you want to tell me? You seem on edge,pet. I know you’re out of your element right now. I love having you at my place, but I know you want to get back to your house, to your own space. I thought maybe our playroom might help you relax.”

“Our?”

“Of course. Tell me you understand that this is it, pet? It’s you and me. That’s the way it’s going to be. The good, the bad, and the ugly.”

“Yes, Master.” Celest circles the top of her glass with her finger, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Okay. I’m all ears. What’s on your mind?”

“Just give me a minute.” She’s not agitated. She is afraid, and that makes my heart sink. I would hate to think she fears me.

“What can I do to help you, Celest?”

“Flex, the reason I haven’t told you about my past is because I’m not proud of it. I’m a different person now. Gracie gave me a reason to change my life for the better.”

“There’s nothing you could tell me that would alter how I feel for you.”

“I just need to say it.”

I reach across our table and take her hand in mine, trying to give her what strength I can. “There’s no rush. Take a breath.”

She’s worked up, I can tell. The rise and fall of her chest give her away every time.

“I was a drug addict when I fell pregnant with Gracie. A no good, waste-of-space heroin addict.” I don’t respond, giving her the space she needs to tell me what’s been burdening her for years. She did that for me when I told her about my parents.

“My mom and I hadn’t spoken in almost two years by then. I stole her hard-earned money and blew it all on drugs. I let my dealer do anything he wanted to me. I was his whore. Every time I think of him, I hate that I let him have that power. He used and abused me… and passed me around his friends. If he had a debt to pay and didn’t have the money, I was offered up as payment. It’s sick and twisted that I enjoy being called a slut and a whore within these walls.”

“Come here.” I expect her to fight back, but she immediatelygets out of her chair and crawls onto my lap. Tears stream down her cheeks. “I’m going to take you to our private room so we can continue this discussion.”

“Yes, Master.” I slip my arms under her and cradle her as I stride through the bar. My heart aches for her. I had no idea she’s been carrying something of this gravity on her shoulders. She sobs as I open the door to our room and walk over to the couch. I don’t set her down but opt to sit and keep her close on my lap.

“Are you okay?”

“You must think I’m a terrible mother. A fucking junky whore. Gracie deserves so much better than I can give her.”

“Stop.” I let her settle for a moment, steeling myself before I speak. “You are a wonderful mother, Celest. Gracie is a happy, healthy girl. You’re not that person anymore. We all have a past, but it’s how we move on and become a better version of ourselves that matters.”

“I need you to know that I stopped using the day I found out I was pregnant. I went cold turkey, and it almost killed me going through withdrawals by myself in a dive motel.”

“Celest…”

“She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I got clean and started building a life for us with what meager means I had. I interviewed with Dalton, and I don’t know why, but he took pity on me that day. I had no qualifications for the job in question, but he said yes, and that’s when life really turned around for us.”

“Remind me to hug the shit out of my best friend the next time I see him.”

“I trained on the job, took night classes online, and worked my way up. I rented what I could afford, and we gradually built a little life in a shitty neighborhood, but we were together, and I broke the cycle.”

“Do you still go to meetings? There has been a lot of stress lately. I can only imagine that could be triggering.”

“Yes. I don’t ever want to go back to being that person. It would kill me if I subjected Gracie to any of that. I can’t go back. I promise I won’t, Master Navarro. Please forgive me. Please.Please.”

I cradle her as she cries, smoothing her hair out of her face. “I’ve got you, pet. Everything is okay. I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you again.”

“I… do you hate me?”

I cup her chin, forcing her to meet my gaze. “No. I could never hate you, Celest. I love you more than life itself.” She tries to look away, but she needs to see the unconditional love I have for her. “There’s nothing for me to forgive. You trusting me enough to tell me this incredibly painful part of your past only makes me love you more.”

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