Page 108 of The Assignment: Room 3

“Don’t speak like that. You deserve everything good in this life, Flex.”

“She died because of me. It was my fault.”

“What?” I’m confused.

“My mom. She didn’t work in either of the towers. I washounding my dad about coming to my football game that Friday night. He was running late and forgot his presentation for a big meeting he had that day.”

I sit in stunned silence.

“There was no way he or my uncle could’ve been saved. My dad worked above the point of impact. He was trapped. My uncle was a firefighter. He ran in there hoping to reach my dad… I know it. He knew his chance of walking out of there was slim to none.”

Flex has always been a force to be reckoned with. Always confident and in control of every situation. It makes sense on a deeper level, knowing how much tragedy he’s lived through. I can’t begin to imagine.

He continues as I crawl into his lap. “My mom was never there at that time of day. Sometimes, she would go meet my dad for lunch, but that morning, she changed her plans. I made my dad forget his presentation, and she had to take it to him. She died because I was being an entitled little asshole.”

I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close as guilt consumes him. “It wasn’t your fault, Flex. There isn’t a person on this earth who could’ve anticipated what happened that day.”

“If I’d just let it go, my mom would still be here.”

“No. I can’t believe you’ve been carrying this around for so long. You are a loving, caring man, and I know, as a mother myself, that your mom wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

He holds me close, burying his head in my neck. “I never listened to the message they left for me on the answering machine. I couldn’t. My gran listened to it, and she didn’t get out of bed for days. It was too overwhelming.”

“Oh, Flex.” Tears fall unbidden as I attempt to comfort him.

“Every year, on the anniversary, I tell myself I’ll listen to it. To the last words my parents wanted to say to me, but I couldn’t. I can’t.”

“It’s okay. One day, you’ll be ready, and when that day comes, if you want someone by your side, I will be there with you.”

“Really? You don’t think I’m a terrible person? I’m the reasonmy mom is dead, and I’m too weak to let her speak her final words to me.”

“You’re not weak, Flex. The fact that you get up every morning and breathe in and out is a testament to that.”

“I profess to be a Dominant, and yet I can’t even face the consequences of my actions. You deserve better.”

“Loving someone isn’t about them ‘deserving’ it. Even if it was, you are worthy of love.Ilove you, Flex.”

“You don’t have to take pity on me.”

“I’m not. You just confided the hardest moment of your life to me. My worries about us seem so insignificant. I’ve been scared to say it out loud. Please know that I’ve felt it for a while now, but I was terrified to want you. Toneedyou. I’ve been on my own for a long time.”

I know I should tell him everything, but I’m the weak one here at this moment. I am a product of my own bad decisions. Flex has endured unbelievable sadness in his life, not because of anything he’s done.

“I’m scared to want you too. What if I hurt you? What if you look me in the eye one day and can’t love me anymore? I’m a fraud. The mighty Dom who doesn’t want commitment or attachments that last longer than three months.”

“We all have our reasons for seeking out this lifestyle, but we’re not defined by it. We’re not bad people, and we’re doing nothing wrong. Rules and boundaries are made on our own terms, and it’s a safe way to connect with others. How could younotwant to find a way to control your relationships, romantic or otherwise? You’ve been living with a burden of guilt that shouldn’t have been yours to bear.”

“You don’t hate me for what I’ve done?”

“No. Absolutely not. I mean it when I tell you it wasn’t your fault.”

“I don’t deserve you, pet. You shouldn’t sign the contract.”

I pull away, grabbing the pen off the table and signing the second contract. “I love you, Flex. I want to be yours. I want you to be my Master for as long as you want me.”

He grabs me around the waist, positioning me to straddle him on the couch. His lips crash down on mine, so much emotion poured into this one kiss. Something we’ve done so many times, and yet the gravity of the moment is palpable in the air around us.

“I need you, Celest. I know you just signed the contract for a month of…” I swallow his words as I take his lips with mine and reach between us, unzipping his jeans and freeing his growing erection.

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