Page 107 of The Assignment: Room 3

“I didn’t want to assume. I’d much rather have you with me.”

“Then I’m sleeping with you.” A sigh of relief escapes me as he leans down and kisses the top of my head.

“Good.” He still gives me some space to read through the contract again before signing the second copy.

It’s pretty standard. We already downloaded our profiles for the Venom portal, agreed to use safewords and never give or receive punishment in a negative state of mind. I always glide over that, telling myself that every sub has goaded their Dom for punishment at least once. For me, it stops me from getting very negative about myself and restores balance to my headspace.

When I reach the duration, my jaw drops and tears well in my eyes.

Duration of Contract between Felix Warren Navarro and Celest Monroe: In perpetuity.

He can’t be serious. He barely knows me. There is so much I need to explain. I have so many demons to face on a daily basis. And what about Gracie? In perpetuity is a huge commitment. Am I even ready for that? Flex asked me outright tonight if I love him, and I didn’t answer.

I know how I feel, but I have to take other factors into consideration, and I am scared to let him fully into our lives. I’ve steeled myself over the past four years, and I strive every day to keep going and be the best version of myself.

I came here tonight because I wanted to know why his demeanor changed on a dime at dinner. It’s hypocritical of me. I have no intention of telling him my deep, dark secrets anytime soon. Am I really going to let him enter into a contract with me, knowing that I’m holding back so much?

“Have you had a chance to read it through?” His voice is low, gravelly, and sexy as hell.

“Yeah.” I twist the pen in my hand, nervous to have this conversation.

“That didn’t sound like a good ‘yeah.’ Talk to me.” I hate seeing the concerned furrow of his brow.

“In perpetuity? Don’t you think we should learn to walk before we can run?”

He takes a seat, laughing to himself or at me, I’m not sure. “I never thought I’d see the day that I’m the one trying to get a commitment from my submissive. This is the universe’s karma right here.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to commit to you, Flex. There’s a lot you don’t know about me. And a lot I don’t know about you.”

“We’re going to learn as we go. Shouldn’t it always be like that? My mom used to get so excited when we’d be sitting around the dining table, and she’d find out something new about my dad. She said it kept the spice alive. I’m sure she didn’t meanourkind of spice, but they were happy and in love. They were so in love.”

“Can I ask what happened to them? You said at dinner that youdon’t have family anymore. If you’re not comfortable, tell me to butt out.” The shadow in his eyes breaks my heart.

“I’ve never told anyone.” His eyes well with tears.

“Dalton?”

“No one.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t pry. You don’t have to tell me.” He reaches for my hand, rubbing circles on the back with his thumb. He casts his gaze out of the floor-to-ceiling windows that showcase Manhattan in all her beauty.

“Remember when I told you I joined the Navy because I lost loved ones in the Twin Towers?”

I jam my free hand over my mouth to stop the cry I feel creeping up my throat.

“I lost my mom, dad, and uncle that day.”

“Flex.” I don’t say anything else, completely floored that he trusts me enough to talk to me. He’s been holding this in for decades.

“I lived with my gran for a few years, but she lost both of her sons that day. It broke her. She died a few years later. I saw her age exponentially, living every day with that kind of grief. It was too much.”

“You had to live with so much loss, and you channeled it into serving your country. Flex, that is… you are… incredibly strong.” I steal my hand back and cup his face, lifting his gaze to meet mine, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I am so sorry for your loss.”

“It was a long time ago. I’m okay.”

“Thank you for confiding in me. I know it’s like ripping open an old wound.”

“It never healed. It’s been a gaping, festering wound in my life. I’m fucked up, Celest. I realized today that I’m being selfish asking you to love me. I don’t deserve you.”

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