“That’s incredibly sweet, Nora.” It’s all I can muster. I came here tonight because I want the chance to make a life with Celest, but all of my old insecurities come flooding back. Conversation dwindles as we finish dinner, and Gracie is half-asleep.

“Come on, sweet pea. Time for bed.” Celest lifts her into her arms.

“No, Mommy. I want to see Fex.”

“It’s okay, Gracie bear. I’ll see you another day. I have to get going anyway.”

“Oh.” Celest hugs her daughter tight, and I feel like I’m imposing.

“Thanks for dinner. I’ll call you.”Shit.What am I doing? I’m an asshole.

Nora takes Gracie from Celest’s arms. “I’ll let you two say goodbye. Or not. There’s no need to rush off. Stay. Talk.” She not so subtly scurries down the hallway.

“You don’t have to leave.”

“I shouldn’t have come. I don’t belong here.”

“I knew this was going to happen. You’re right. You don’t belong here in a dive house with a dive submissive. The bike that everyone likes to ride and discard when you’re done feeling charitable.” I’m not sure what she hears, but it isn’t what I meant at all.

“This isn’t about you.”

“Jesus, Flex, at least come up with a better line. Admit it. You decided you ‘love’ me because it suited your narrative. The reality isn’t as great, is it? A poky house in a shit neighborhood with a slutty single mom who served you a three-year-old’s version of dinner.”

“Celest, stop.” I’m doing this all wrong.

“Why?” she whispers, pushing me toward the front door. It’s for the best. I don’t want Gracie or her mom to hear any more of this. “Fuck ’em and chuck ’em, right? It’s worse that you tried to dangle the idea of a real relationship. I should have known better. You’re a player. Always have been, always will be.”

I step outside but grab her hand, pulling her out with me, the door closing behind us.

“As your Dominant, I’m telling you to stop.”

“Fuck you, Flex.”

I cinch her hands at the small of her back, my lips a whisker away from her, the scent of her perfume invading my senses. “I have to leave, pet. I have to. Don’t you understand?”

“Understand what? That you’re the same as all the rest of them?”

“That I love you. I fucking love you. Do you have any idea how terrifying that is for me? I haven’t let myself love a woman ever. I don’twantto love you because everything I love burns to the ground. I infect everyone who cares for me.”

“Is this about what my mom said? That you have us? What happened to your parents, Flex? You can talk to me. Please,talkto me. I don’t understand what’s going on.”

My heart aches as my lips crash down on hers, and she steals my breath away. “I’m sorry, pet. I can’t do this right now.”

“Is that it? We’re done?”

“No. I don’t know. I’ll end up hurting you. I will lose you, and I… I won’t survive it.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Flex. I’m right here.”

“And you flinch when I tell you I love you. Do you love me, Celest?”

“I…” Her hesitation tells me everything I need to know. How the fuck did I get myself into this mess?

“I need to leave.” I fish my keys out of my pocket and take the steps down to the sidewalk and my car. I hear Celest following behind me, but I can’t do this. I’ve broken my own rules. The ones that keep me from divulging the parts of me I don’t want anyone to know.

“Flex, please don’t go.”

“I have to, pet,” I say without looking back.