Page 25 of Liberator

“You made it my business when you hit me and again when you used my locker room to screw her, which I now realize wasan intentional move on your part. You wanted to get caught to warn me off. Damn, you’re an idiot! You’ve got to stop thinking with the little head between your legs and start using the one on your shoulders,” Colt advised.

I grabbed the front of his t-shirt and got in his face, something I seemed to do every time I spoke to him these days. Nose to nose I growled, “What gives you the idea you can talk to me like that? I didn’t ask you or anyone else for advice. I think I’ve got this handled on my own. I got between her legs didn’t I? She wants me and she gives me what I need. So, that makes her mine.”

“Like hell it does!” he said as he punched me in the gut making me release him abruptly. “Does she even know you’ve claimed her? Did you ask if she wanted you to? I’m guessing the answer is no to both of those questions. You may be screwing her but she’s not yours.”

“She sure as hell isn’t yours!” I bellowed.

“You’re right about that. I’ve never claimed she was. Look Rage, I’m not trying to get with her. I saw the way it was with you before that little performance in the locker room. Hell, we all knew something was up when you refused to leave her with the rest of those women. We’ve heard you defend her more than once. I don’t have a problem with any of that, but I do have an issue with you claiming her without her consent or even her knowledge of it.”

“Are you trying to say I’m abusing her? I don’t hurt women! You know that. Hell, you and everyone else knows where I came from and that I protect women instead of harming them. Where do you get off accusing me of abusing her?” I demanded.

“I didn’t accuse you of abuse. That word came out of your head not my mouth. That trauma is still inside you and you’ve got to find a way to destroy it, let it go, or at least contain it. Otherwise, you’re going to ruin what you could have with Vikki.You can’t push her or rather screw her into being your woman. She’s endured enough of that shit. You’ve got to win her over, and what you’re doing isn’t going to accomplish that,” Colt tried to explain.

I rubbed both hands over my sweaty face. I heard everything Colt was saying, yet it didn’t make much sense to me. I’d been protecting Vikki from day one. I’d stood up for her every chance I got. I’d defended her honor when men touched her. I’d even gone to Prime and asked that he allow her to be a prospect. I’d given her pleasure in bed more than once. What else was there to do?

“Don’t shoot the messenger, Rage. I’m tired of fighting with you. Just tell me what it is you feel for her and what you want. Maybe, I can give you some help.” Colt added.

Chapter 18

“I don’t like discussingthis shit. It’s personal, and I don’t understand it all myself. I’m a fucking Serpent Sinner, not some pansy assed accountant who needs to get in touch with his feelings. Just leave me the hell alone. I’ll figure it all out sooner or later,” I demanded.

Colt roared with laughter drawing all eyes to us, including Vikki’s. I wanted nothing more than to dig a damn hole and crawl into it. This touchy, feely shit was beyond my comprehension. I wanted it to go away.

Instead, Colt started yapping again. This time it wasn’t about the touchy, feely shit but about my past. His words hit me harder than I imagined they could.

“Anger isn’t the answer to everything. The name you took when you joined the MC fits you well, but you don’t have to keep proving it. I can attest to the fact that you hit first and ask questions later. That kind of shit is perfect for a Sinner. It’s saved our asses over and over again. Yet, there are times when it bringsus more trouble when you jump to conclusions like you did with me. Our enemies aren’t so forgiving. They retaliate.”

“I fix it when that happens. No one’s gotten killed because of it,” I argued.

“Not yet. But it’s bound to happen sooner or later. You’ve covered for yourself pretty well most of the time, and when you haven’t Prime has done it for you. He’s got your back. But what if your rage does get one of us killed? What if it’s Vikki? She’s going to be out there with us soon. Have you considered that?” he asked.

I tightened my jaw, and it began to twitch. I couldn’t stand still. I walked to the wall and leaned my head against it letting the cold concrete soothe my pounding head. Slowly the anger slipped away leaving fear and regret behind.

“What does my temper have to do with anything? I’m damn well going to protect Vikki when she’s with us. It’s my job. She’s been through more than enough already. She’s special. Alright, I admit it. I give a fuck about her. But I’ll never lay a hand on her in anger,” I swore.

“No, you wouldn’t. We all know that. But when you’re trying to protect her in a dangerous situation and that anger gets in the way it could cause the death of any of us. Besides, she wants to be one of us. She wants equality. How is she going to act if you continue to fight her battles for her in the name of protection? How does that give her the chance to be a Sinner? You’ll lose her, especially since it appears her temper rivals your own,” he stated.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” I demanded.

“Talk more, screw less. She’s traumatized by her past just the same as you. The situations are different, but it all adds up to the same thing. I think your constant anger may scare her at times and confuse her at others. It sure the hell does that to the rest of us and we know why you’re this way. She doesn’t have afreaking clue and it gets her riled up. She doesn’t know how else to react. She’s known nothing else. Talk to her. Let her know who you really are and why you’re so protective of her. Change your attitude. Ask, don’t order her around. Give her some freedom for fucks sake. You’re smothering her.”

“She wanted me today as much as I wanted her,” I replied in self-defense.

“She wanted release in any way she could get it. I saw how angry she was when she walked out and I guarantee you made her get angrier, probably on purpose. She can’t very well beat you in a fight, so sex had to be her answer. That’s not the way it should be for either of you. Fix this shit before it becomes a problem for the entire club. I don’t want to die because you want a woman who isn’t ready to want you.”

Colt gave me a lot to think about, things I preferred to be left alone and unsaid. It infuriated me that he was sticking his nose into my business where I didn’t believe it belonged, especially after I’d decided he was trying to move in on my woman. Hell, I’d hit him several times due to that conclusion and he still had the guts to get in my face and give me unsolicited advice. I wanted to pound him into silence, but that just proved that the things he’d said were all too true.

The worst of it was that he made way too much sense. I didn’t want or need a damn councilor, or a man who had just as much baggage hanging over his head as I did telling me what I should be doing with the woman that shared my bed, or the broom closet and dressing room bench. I thought we communicated just fine when we were together, but now I was supposed to use pretty words and explain myself to her. Talking wasn’t my strong suit. I felt a Sinner shouldn’t have to explain himself to anyone, not even his woman.

I wanted to say fuck that. I very nearly did. Then I remembered how she’d looked when I’d first found her andknew deep down that I was pushing too hard at her, maybe making her feel used. Truthfully, I wasn’t exactly using her, but I was using her sudden temper tantrums to get past her insecurities. Did that put me in the bad guy category along with her rapist and abductor? Shit! I hoped not.

She tried to ignore me when I stepped over and took Colt’s place behind the punching bag. He just gave me a nod of understanding and walked away to deal with a sparring match in the ring that was turning into an actual fight due to an obviously broken nose.

“Didn’t Colt mention you should use your core muscles when you strike out at the bag?” I asked as she continued pummeling it with a frown on her face and sweat dripping off her body. “You’re not putting any strength into it.”

“What do you think he was doing when he touched my waist and belly the other day? Did you really believe he was feeling me up in front of the whole world? I suppose that’s something I might have expected from you, but not Colt. He’s all business here unlike you. I doubt he’d have taken advantage of me in the damn locker room just to prove he could or show another man I was off limits,” she replied between the quick one-two punches she was practicing.

“Sometimes my body overrules my head and I let my anger take the lead. I didn’t like seeing another man touch you after what we’ve done. It jacked up my temper. I see you wearing next to nothing everyday and getting more toned and sexier by the hour and I can’t help but want to screw you. I know it may sound terrible but at least I’m honest. You could have said no,” I explained.

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