Page 2 of Loathe

“This isn’t right, this is incest. You are my father!” I cried out as he pulled my clothes off quickly. I tried to scratch his face, but he grabbed my hand and held it above my head. “I’m not one you should be fucking. If you hadn’t angered that man, my mother would still be alive, and you could do this to her!” Probably about the worst thing I could have said.

He leaned up from kissing my neck and looked me in the eyes with a sadistic grin on his face as he continued groping my breasts with his free hand. I tried to get my hand free of him, but he was too strong and held me down easily. I couldn’t believe that he was doing what he was doing to me. I knew this night wasn’t going to end good for me. I was devastated that the one man that was supposed to take care of me and protect me, was the one willingly hurting me.

I tried bringing my knee up to smack his balls, but he rolled to the side without letting go of my hand. I wiggled my other hand free and scratched his face before he could grab my wrist, eliciting a hard smack across my face.

“I’ve got news for you, sweet cheeks. I’m not your biological father. Your mother was pregnant when I killed your real father. I’ve taken care of you all these years, and now you’re going to take care of me and my mafia friends and make me money.” He moved inside me, and I felt sick.

He mumbled something about how good I felt, but I didn’t pay attention to what he was saying. I wanted to die in that moment and knew I had to do whatever I could to make it end quickly. It seemed that the end was nowhere in sight as he wheezed and sweated on top of me. I closed my eyes and made myself go to another place in my mind while he was on top of me.

I knew at that moment I had to get out and it had to be soon. My life depended on it.

It took 18 months to get out, and by then, I was worse off than a used-up whore.

My father’s second was on top of me, finishing in me like nothing but a vesicle, and I put my mind on my plan. I had been saving, stealing, planning for three months.

Once the monster finished and passed out, I snuck to the shower and cleaned myself. I made sure to be quiet as I quickly gathered a duffle bag full of clothes and necessities. I silently made my way down the hall to the kitchen and opened the back door, shutting it behind me as softly as I could.

I hid against the side of the house and waited to make sure no one heard the door before I dashed across the yard. I ran as hard as I could until my lungs burned and I was several blocks away. I hid behind a tree in a yard and waited a few minutes to catch my breath.

I smiled as I realized that I was now free. Free of the monster and free of the life I’d never wanted for myself. I just hoped he would never find me.

Chapter One

Phoebe

I stood against the building of the popular truck stop in Chattanooga and took a long drag off my cigarette. I’d been waiting there for a long while hoping he would show up soon. I’d been asked to meet him, and I requested the spot, because it felt like church to me. It was where I belonged and nobody understood that. I’d made it through two more cigarettes before he finally decided to show up, motorcycle rumbling as he pulled beside me.

“It’s about time you got here. I’ve been standing here for a long time now. Don’t you know it’s rude to make a lady wait?” I sassed.

“Forgive me your highness, there was some business that needed taking care of. Now, there is more business to take care of,” he said.

“What kind of business, Tony?” I asked.

Things had been good between us once and I had thought we’d last, but my upbringing got the best of me. Things didn’t go as I’d hoped they would. I had my suspicions as to why he wanted to meet me, but I wasn’t one to assume things. I wanted him to say it, to hear it come out of his mouth.

“You’re really making it hard on Kara coming around like you do and trying to get in my business. Things with us are a thing of the past, and it needs to stay that way. I don’t need you coming around upsetting her, making my life difficult,” he said firmly.

“Heaven forbid the princess gets inconvenienced.” I threw my cigarette butt to the ground. “It’s not that I’m trying to get in your business, Tony, despite how things ended, I just like knowing you’re okay.”

Despite what he thought, I had cared for him for a long time and at one point wanted to be in the position Kara was in. I hated that bitch with as much fire and passion as I could muster. I never knew if it was because I loved him, or if it was because she was living the life I’d wanted. Truth be told, it gave me pleasure to give her hell and make her miserable. I may have fucked things up with Tony, but she swooped in and stole what had been rightfully mine.

I could tell he didn’t fall for my bullshit with the obvious eyeroll he gave me. I hadn’t really cared for him in a long time and working as an ally was getting old. I hated having to see him with his new bitch, and it made me want to torment her even more.

“Phoebe, stop it. There is no reason for you to do that and you are the one that ended things by doing what you did anyway. I don’t need you causing trouble for me with Kara. I mean it,” he said as he looked around. “You know, you never told me why you call this place church. I don’t understand it.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know or understand about me, Tony. I’m a complex woman I suppose, besides it really isn’t your business anymore,” I replied.

He looked at me and smiled a genuine smile. One that I hadn’t seen in a long time and it made me sad to know that Kara got to see it more than I had. He raised his hands in surrender and I smiled at him without saying a word. It was almost as if we’d silently called truce and just stood there staring at each other.

“So, how’s your old man?” he asked with a grin.

I didn’t understand why he had to bring him up. I hadn’t seen the man in a very long time and wanted nothing to do with him, but Tony always seemed to think I was in cahoots with him in mafia business. I tried to retain my anger as I felt it well up inside me and my fists doubled at my sides.

“That son of a bitch is not my father, and this has nothing to do with him, Tony. I don’t even have anything to do with him and you know that,” I spat.

“For all I know you could be doing some dirty underhanded business for him, and I don’t need dragged into it,” he answered.

“Anything I could do to bother you, you would deserve it, but I’m not working with the bastard,” I said through gritted teeth.

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