Page 12 of Loathe

I swallowed my pride and a lump in my throat as I looked at Phoebe. She was a beautiful woman who had been done wrong. She was in pain. Fuck, it almost never turned out well when a man chose a woman over everything. I could tell myself that it was to get ahead in life, but deep down, I knew otherwise.

“I’ve heard things from some of the others, but I also believe that everyone deserves a second chance. I mean, how is anyone supposed to prove that they have changed if no one will give them a chance to show it?” I asked in a curious tone.

I knew I was treading dangerous water, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had told me to get out. I was surprised that he didn’t tell me to leave. He stood silently for a moment as if he was thinking about what I had said to him. I held my breath and waited for him to say something. I looked around the room and it seemed everyone was holding their breath waiting for his reaction.

I stared deeply into Phoebe’s eyes, and I could tell she was mortified by what was going on. Part of me felt sorry for her, but the other part of me raged with anger towards her since she hadn’t told me anything about it and she was letting me risk my career in the club to save her ass. Granted, it was a nice-looking ass, but that didn’t matter at the moment.

“Yeah, I guess you are right, Cameron. Okay, I’ll give her a shot in the club, but she’s your responsibility. If she fucks up, it’s your ass,” Tony said with a smile.

“You got it, PrezPrez.”

I gave Phoebe a defeated stare. I knew that because of her my career with the club was going to be short lived since she was always doing something stupid to get on Tony’s bad side. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs in frustration, but I knew that wasn’t something I could do sitting at the table. I would have to wait until the meeting was over before I could take out my frustrations. I wanted to take my frustration out on her, but I knew that wouldn’t be a good thing.

Once the meeting was over and everything was set in place for how we were going to handle that situation, everyone filed out of the room. I timed my exit so I would leave at the same time she did. I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to my room. I flung her into the room and slammed the door behind me as she landed on the end of my bed.

“What the fuck, Cameron? Didn’t your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?” she asked.

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you how to be one?” I snapped back.

I could tell that what I said hurt her feelings and I felt guilty for saying it, but I wasn’t going to let her know that. I was pissed as fuck, and she was going to know I was. I couldn’t believe that she had went off and gotten herself secretly pledged to the club.

“I can’t believe you threw me under the bus like that in there,” I roared at her.

“How the fuck did I throw you under the bus, Cameron? I didn’t say a damn thing about you. Tony took it upon himself to question you, I didn’t have a fucking thing to do with it,” she yelled back at me.

“You didn’t step in and tell him I didn’t know, so I felt like I needed to lie and defend you, so you weren’t tossed out on your ass. Now, I’m sure my ass is on the line considering I am responsible for whatever fuck ups happen at your hand,” I snapped.

I knew she had to have done something for someone to be able to get the kutte and tattoo, I just didn’t know what. Part of me was afraid to find out, but the other part of me needed to know.

“What did you do in order to get in, Phoebe?” I asked.

I wasn’t sure I truly wanted to know the answer, but there was something inside me that needed to know what she had done, so that I would know what kind of person I was dealing with. I knew what her answer would be the moment the question left my lips, but I still asked, and waited for her to gather up the nerve to tell me, my heart breaking the whole time. I’d taken a risk to help her, and I was being stabbed in the back, I was sure. When was I going to learn that not all damsels needed saving?

Chapter Eleven

Phoebe

I sat on Cameron’s bed confused as to why he was so angry with me. I did what I had to so I could stay safe. I knew there was no guarantee that faking a relationship would keep me in the club, so I took matters into my own hands to secure my future. I knew I could get voted out, but I knew that it was unlikely that would happen. Most of the guys in the club were all about keeping women safe and everyone knew I wouldn’t be without the club. I knew Tony wasn’t going to like it, but I really didn’t give a flying fuck what he thought after all the shit he’d put me through. I had never seen Cameron so worked up before and even though it annoyed me a bit, I was also becoming very aroused by his assertiveness. Then, he asked the question I’d hoped he wouldn’t ask.

“What did you do in order to get in, Phoebe?” he asked.

“That really isn’t any of your business, Cameron. The point is I did what I had to do to secure my safety in case our fake relationship doesn’t work out,” I said.

Cameron looked at me like I’d insulted his dead grandmother, and I knew he wasn’t going to leave it alone until he knew what I had done. I didn’t want to tell him and I didn’t understand why. I had never had any issues being honest with anyone, but it was very hard to make the words come out of my mouth. I knew he deserved to know. I was just scared of how he would react, and I didn’t want to lose the one good thing I’d found even if it was fake.

“How did you get it done without Tony knowing? Or me for that matter,” Cameron asked in a snippy tone. “I think it’s my business considering we’re supposed to be in a relationship. I need to know what the hell is going on, Phoebe.”

“I slept with him,” I blurted out without thinking.

Cameron stopped short as he was about to say something and stared at me with such an intensity that it started to make me afraid. I didn’t understand where that side of him was coming from, and I was getting very confused. For a moment I wondered if he was going to put his hands on me. I thought about walking away from him, but the look faded from his face, and he seemed a bit calmer as he started to speak.

“That’s how you got the tattoo,” he mumbled. “Everyone is going to find out that you did that and this little relationship scheme you cooked up is going to go out the window. Once Tony finds out you lied about everything you might get voted out anyway, and I’ll probably get voted out too, so thanks for that. When are you going to stop being so fucking selfish?” he asked as he walked out the door.

I sat there on his bed shocked at the way he was with me. I hadn’t realized that Cameron had felt anything real, but the way he’d acted told me he did. The realization that Cameron felt something for me left me thinking about what I really felt for him, and I was scared at the answer I gave myself. I left his room and made my way back to my own and closed the door. I laid on the bed and looked around wondering how long it would be my room if what Cameron said was true. I hoped that no one would catch on and take it to Tony, but there was a small fear in the pit of my stomach that Cameron might be the one to turn me in. I hoped I was wrong about that, but knowing how partial he was to his career in the club, I wasn’t going to put anything past him. Trust was something that I didn’t do much of and I wasn’t sure if Cameron was someone I could trust completely. I started to wonder if I was going to get the chance to find out with as mad as he was at me. Maybe he was right, maybe I’d been a bit selfish in going behind his back to get the tattoo and leather, but it was what I knew I needed to do in order to be safe from my “father” for more than a few days.

I rolled onto my side and waited for sleep to come even though it was in the middle of the day. I knew it wouldn’t be of any use to go around the others since everyone had witnessed the display at the table. I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before I gave up and headed out of my room to find something to eat. I made my way to the kitchen at the back of the clubhouse and found Tony shuffling around in the fridge. I tried to sneak away before he saw me, but he called my name as I was about to turn the corner.

“I’ll make you a sandwich if you’re hungry,” he said as I stopped in my tracks.

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