Page 3 of Hap

They both jump and scramble out of the hot tub. “What about my things?” Trent asks, his voice wavering with fear.

“You can take what clothes you can pack in five minutes. If you are not gone by then, I will call the police,” I threaten.

“You can’t do that. I’m your husband,” he argues.

“I can, and I fucking will,” I seethe.

He doesn’t argue as my sister tugs on his hand and drags him inside the house. I walk into the kitchen and stand rigid. With my hands braced on the counter, I fight to keep a lock on my emotions. As I hear them scurry down the stairs, the sound of the front door slamming shut echoes behind them. Only when I hear the sound of his screeching tires do I release my hold and let myself drown in the hurt and anger. However, no matter the pain, I refuse to cry.

I don’t fucking cry.

CHAPTER TWO

HAP

“My family.”His words repeat over and over in my mind as I lie in my room, not sleeping, just staring into nothing but darkness. I can still feel his body in my arms, and I can still feel the moment the life drained from his body.

A knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts. “Yeah?” I call out. The door opens, and Queenie walks in. She switches on the lamp, and I blink a few times as my eyes adjust. She stands there, dressed all in black.

“The service starts in thirty minutes,” she states softly before she takes the bottle of whiskey from my hold.

I squint at her. “It’s the middle of the night,” I argue.

She walks over to the curtains and as she yanks them open, daylight floods my room.

I groan and cover my face. “Fuck.”

“It’s midday. Now enough is enough. You are now a fully patched in member of the Black Hearts MC. We don’t mope, and we don’t wallow in our own self-pity. We pick our asses up, and we push forward,” she chastises.

“The kid died in my fucking arms,” I say through gritted teeth.

Her face softens. “I know he did, and you will forever feel that pain, but shutting yourself in here with this bottle ain’t going to make it feel better. I’m not saying getting up and living will make it feel better, but it sure as shit is a better plan than what you are doing now.” She walks over to my draws and starts pulling out my clothes and dumping them on me. “Now get in that shower because you fucking stink,” she says, clicking her fingers at me.

“Anyone ever told you that you should go into counselling? Or maybe like positive speaking?” I grumble sarcastically.

“Don’t sass me. I’ve been dealing with bikers before you were in fucking diapers,” she states with her hand on her hips. I slowly get to my feet, and as I am standing in front of her, I grab her face in my hands and place a chaste kiss on her cheek.

“My apologies, Queenie,” I mutter before walking into the bathroom and close the door behind me.

Once I’ve showered and dressed, I walk down the hall to the main bar. Seeing the club all standing around talking, the mood feels subdued. It’s quiet; there is no laughter, no arguments. None of the normal rowdiness.

Star’s eyes catch mine, and she gives Ghost’s arm a squeeze before making her way over. I give her a curt nod, but Star ignores that and wraps her arms around me, resting her head on my chest and holding me tight to her. I instinctively hold my hands out and look at Ghost to show him I ain’t touching her. His lips twitch as he fights back a smile. He lifts his chin, giving me his approval.

I tentatively lower my hands and place them respectfully on the middle of Star’s back, giving her an awkward pat. She gives me another squeeze before she lifts her head, still keeping her arms wrapped around me as she looks up at me. Tears trickle down her cheeks, and her eyes are full of sadness. She lets out a sniff as she lets me go and wipes her tears away with a tissue.

“I’m sorry,” I tell her.

She frowns, shaking her head. “Why would you say that?” she asks.

I swallow past the lump in my throat. “I should have made sure he wasn’t on his own. I should have made sure that he and Tiny weren’t left there alone.”

She places her hand on my arm and squeezes it firmly. “This is no one’s fault but Eugene’s, do you hear me? That anger, that bitterness you feel, you store it, and you put it to one side. When we find Eugene, you unleash fucking hell on him. You unleash all that pain.” She pauses as she swallows back her tears. “You unleash every single fucking bit of the pain you are feeling right now, and you make that son of a bitch suffer. You make him suffer for the pain he’s caused this family,” she rasps as fresh tears spill down her cheeks.

I clench my jaw tight, holding back the emotion. Ghost comes up behind her, as if sensing her pain. He places his hand on the back of her neck, and as his eyes land on mine, his usual ice-cold stare is clouded with sadness and guilt.

I slide my hands into my pockets as I look down at Star, seeing that her eyes are now bloodshot from crying. “He will pay, and he will suffer for all he has done. For Bambi,” I promise her. Star nods, as does Ghost.

“The priest is ready to start the service,” Dixie says softly from beside us. I hadn’t even noticed her approach.

---