Page 151 of Her Tortured Beasts

“You did this for yourself,” he says, his lion’s voice deep and guttural. “Like everything else you’veeverdone.”

I blink, stepping away from him, wondering if that is true. “No, I…”

Two pairs of eyes are on me, one amber, one ice cold. Under their gazes, I sit back in my chair, staring at my empty hands. “You’re right. It was for me. To show that I’m…”

“You think you’re different because you said sorry?” Lyle asks, aghast.

I stare at him. “People can change, Lyle, you know that! I just beheaded a phoenix for her!”

“Maybe,” he says, amber eyes shrinking as his human side assumes control. “Your little speech was a good one, I’ll give it that. But it’ll only ever be that. A speech.”

“Every word was true,” I say firmly.

Lyle takes a deep breath and looks at Scythe as if waiting for confirmation. My shark-brother nods, assessing me. “He was speaking the truth.”

“He can’t have spoofed you?” Lyle asks, almost desperately. “Tricked your psyche in some way?”

It hurts, this questioning of my words. Of me. As I sit here bleeding, with the blood of Damien Agnis on my hands. Not that I care about him, it’s that they don’t think it means anything.

“He cried, you know,” I say softly. “As he died. Damien. He thought he was invincible for so long. Told me he was a protected species. Told me I’d pay for it. Told me it was a curse to kill a creature as pure as a phoenix.” I laugh darkly. “Do you want to know what I said?” I slump back in my chair, not even knowing why I’m even telling them, just that I have to get it out. “I said…‘tell my regina that’.” My laugh is even crazier this time.“‘You know who she is?’ I said. ‘Aurelia Boneweaver. And after I made that perfect soul bleed, no curse could ever beat that one.’” I look up at the ceiling, to wherever Damien’s spirit now is. “Did you hear that, you fucking old duck? My curse trumps your curse!”

Light footsteps sound, and Aurelia is hobbling up to me, her eyes wet from the stress of vomiting. I raise a bloody hand, then drop it uselessly. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”

“I don’t,” she says simply. “But I feel sorry for anyone who has to listen to you feeling sorry for yourself.”

I gape at her.

“You heard me.” She walks right up to me and grabs my face in one hand, squeezing my cheeks together. I gaze at her in delight and wonder. “Stop it. Right now, stop this. I’m sick of it. Sick of being sad and lost. I want it to stop, and you’re not helping.” She lets me go and I sit up in the chair.

“How can I help?”

“Go back to your normal, arrogant self.”

Savage gapes at her and Lyle looks at her in surprise. My brows fly up. “But…why?”

She puts her hands on her hips. “Because then things will at leastfeelnormal. No—” She puts her hands up to Savage’s protests. “I know they’re not normal. I know that Xander did something I can never forgive. I just need normalcy for a second.” She shifts uncomfortably and I know her leg pains her. I want to heal her. I want to help.

“What about this?” I hold up the golden chain still hanging from the collar at my neck.

“I don’t want it,” she frowns. “I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m quite done with it.”

“Fine, but I’m keeping the collar on.”

“Wild Goddess,fine.”

“Are you…exasperatedwith me?” I breathe.

She shakes her head in dismay. “Yes, you overgrown gecko.” She looks around at the rest of them. “Look, I don’t think he’s going to turn around and betray us, and in all fairness, he can’t hurt me any fucking more than he already has. It’s not like he can cut the bond again.”

Goddess that hurt. Something in me erupts in violent protest at her words, but with one look from her, I shut my mouth.

“So…” she says on an exhale. “Can we just…go back to normal for one fucking day?”

“Whatever you want,” Lyle and I blurt at the same time.

We scowl at each other.

“But,” she says, turning towards me, her chin raised. “You don’t really have the right to call me regina. I’m not.”