Page 132 of Her Tortured Beasts

I glance down at my empty bread plate and fidget with the cloth napkin in my lap. “I’ll get straight to the point, then. I need to know if a mating bond can be repaired.”

The question stretches out between us until it’s so fine it may as well be dust. Her pupils dilate and constrict until, finally, she lets out a tired breath. Suddenly, I see it. The strain under her eyes, the fine veins around her nose, the weight she carries on her shoulders. A regal bird, but an exhausted one. She feels what I did, not in the same way Aurelia does, but she certainly feels the weight of it. Her pain is also my fault.

“You made a choice, Mr Drakos. I imagine you did not do it lightly. Titus?—”

“Donotcompare me to that monster,” I grit out.

She raises her brows. “And yet the two of you belong to an exclusive club, whose members, in my extensive knowledge, number only two.”

I feel the pain of it like a fire-strike to the face. But it’s lucky I’ve been hit in the face a lot, courtesy of Savage. “I want to repair it, Lady Agnis. I need to know if there is a way. I…made a mistake. A terrible one. I know I don’t even deserve it. I don’t deserve…her.”

Her eyes soften in sympathy, and she studies me for a long moment. I wonder what heinous picture I make on the bonding plane. “Never did I imagine that we would end up here, Xander. What happened to that excited boy I met so long ago?”

I lean forward. “So many dragons don’t even find their mate in this life. But I have. That has to mean something, doesn’t it?”

Her brows knit together. “It did mean something. But I don’t know if it can mean anything now.”

Now that I’ve ruined it.

“What is the reason for this…change of heart?”

I cast my eye out of the restaurant window, where the glow of the day almost hurts my eyes. “I’ve realised some things.”

She eases back in her chair, some of the tension in her body leaving. And then finally, she says the words I’ve been dreading. “Xander, there is no known way to reinstate a broken soul bond. Not in this life. It’s never been done. You will always be severed.”

Chapter 80

Aurelia

The sound of my own screaming wakes me up. I thrash out of my sheets, my legs shaking as Lyle’s arms band around me. “You’re home, angel. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

I suck in air, reorienting myself through the darkness, clutching at Lyle’s strong arms as he rocks me gently back and forth. I’m home. I’m home. Of course, I’m home. There is no collar on my neck and there are no bars around me. Savage rubs my legs in soothing strokes, and Scythe sits close, pressing his cheek to mine.

Their combined scents and their touch on me quickly grounds my mind. I sigh, long and loud. “I’m sorry.”

Scythe kisses me on the cheek, then my mating mark. That soothes me more than he’ll ever know. “We love you so much, Aurelia.”

“It’ll take time,” Lyle says. “Now and again, I wake up and have to remind myself I’m not in a cage.”

“Still?” I ask in surprise.

“Still,” he confirms, resting his cheek on my crown. “Sometimes these things stay with you, rearing their heads toremind you they’re still there. But it doesn’t mean they have to control you.”

I gulp down the cold water Scythe passes me, then watch him as he opens the lace curtain, allowing morning light to flood the room. “I dream of fire sometimes, and black smoke.”

Savage rubs at his eyes, looking forlornly at the blank wall. “Last night I dreamt I was a mermaid, and I was happy because it meant I could swim with you and Scythe.”

An unexpected laugh bubbles up my throat, and I double over, clutching my stomach. Savage is deadly serious when he says, “I had a blue tail and it was really long.”

That makes me laugh even more and I land sideways on the bed, wiping at my eyes as the emotions mix in my brain and the laugh turns into a sob. It erupts out of me like a broken fire hydrant, the building pressure suddenly finding release and I cry loudly into the air, screwing my eyes shut as pairs of arms come around me and bodies spoon mine from both sides.

I can’t control it. The despair, the agony, the loss. My cries are full of the pain of Lorian, leaving him behind. They are full of Raquel’s whimpers as I left them behind too. My cries are for Henry, Selena, Lady Drakos, Delilah and Emmerson…and for a dragon I crave to see again and yetneverat the same time.

My body eventually gives out, and I lose the energy to sob after my ribs begin to ache. It’s only then that I feel the strokes upon my hair, the calming words in my ear. They lull me into a state between dozing and dissociating.

To move means to feel the pain.

“Then don’t move,”Scythe says in my head.“Be still until you can’t anymore.”

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