Page 73 of Her Psycho Beasts

Wood crashes into glass, sending shards and splinters everywhere. The phoenix squawks loudly in shock and plasters himself to the whiteboard, clutching his chest, eyes wide. Outside comes a few screams followed by a loud crash.

It’s my turn to point at him and my voice emerges feral deep. “Threaten my regina again, and that’ll be your severed head crashing through the window.”

The phoenix peels himself off the whiteboard and straightens his shoulders. “You are insane and deserve what’s going to happen to you.”

A chill runs down my spine, raising my hackles. Scythe would never let this bin chicken do anything to us. I make a promise to myself then. That whatever happens while this dodo is head of the school, that one day, I’ll pluck his feathers one by one and fry his breasts, thighs and tenderloins in a vat of oil.

Those golden eyes I’ll leave for last. Maybe if Xander eats them, his own eyes will grow back. It’s worth the try.

I clap my hands once and grin at him, suddenly in a good mood. “Yes, yes! So what’s the plan now?”

He shakes his head likeI’mthe mad one and brushes the shoulder of his white suit for no reason. He says tightly, “The entire faculty has been discussing the best solution. Lyle has made some suggestions. You may go to see him now to begin.Andyou will make me a new desk.”

“Sure,” I say, wiggling my fingers at him before I saunter out the door. “It’ll be the best desk ever.”

I sniff out Lyle at the back of the academy where zookeeper Rick runs his animal rescue shelter.

“G’day, Savage!” Rick says excitedly. He’s an excitable red-head in a safari outfit and very good with animals, which means he’s good with me. Right now, he’s weighing a tiny, pink squirming thing on an electronic scale.

“Is that for eating?” I ask, pointing at the tiny creature. It looks like a jellybean.

Rick writes down the thing’s weight on a notepad before bundling it up into a cloth sack. I’m trying to push away what Lyle calls intrusive thoughts, honest.

“Nah, mate. It’s a koala joey. His mother was brought in this morning, but she didn’t make it.”

I frown because suddenly it feels cold in here. Like a cloud’s covered the afternoon sun. “How’s it gonna survive without its mummy?”

“We’ll look after him. Feed him, clean him up, make sure he’s happy.”

My regina’s beautiful face suddenly swims into my brain. “But it’s so small.”

“Sure is, but old mate’s got plenty of fight in him.”

“Yeah,” I say more confidently. “I reckon he does.”

Rick grins at me, his eyes crinkling. “Lyle’s waiting for you in the back. Nice little surprise for you there.”

When I get into the back room, Xander is also already in there, arms crossed and frowning at Lyle, who’s sitting on a stool in front of a table with two cloth bundles like the one Rick had, only bigger. One is purple with a banana pattern, and the other is pink with brown teddy bears.

“Your job is to keep them alive,” Lyle says. “And all will be forgiven.”

“There are pups in there?” I exclaim, gesturing to the bags.

“Marsupial babies are called joeys,” Lyle says. “And congratulations, they are your responsibility now.”

He hangs the cloth sack around Xander’s neck and then mine. When I look down into it, the joey—which is a furless, brown thing—is sleeping soundly, curled up on itself. Sometimes I sleep like that too.

“We’re dads now, Xander!” I say, patting my bag. “I bet I’ll do it better than you.”

Xander takes a booklet of information and flips through it, sighing dramatically. “So that’s it?” he asks. “I have to keep this thing alive for the next few months and they won’t class me a fugitive?”

“The council’s approved it. And Savhas to pass a writing and reading test in three months.”

“What?” I choke. The joey wriggles against me and I whisper instead. “That’s fucked up, Lyle, and you know it. Three months to learn something I couldn’t learn in twenty-three years?”

“You’re tried for murder, Sav. These are pretty good terms,” he says firmly. “Aurelia said she will help you. So there’s your incentive. You get…private time with her.”

I perk up then, because why didn’t he say so before? I imagine bending her over a desk and finally living out my fantasy of fucking her in a classroom.

---